A decision to remove the handicap door
openers has significantly lowered attendance in classes, and
participation in on-campus events. Since the removal of the buttons,
students have been left dumbfounded, and unable to open doors. When
presented with the obstacle of walking through a door, the ordinary
thing to do for a Ramapo College student, would be to conserve his or
her energy, and use the handicap button to open the door
automatically. One professor commented, ” Attendance has dropped
66% since the change. Poor kids can barely maneuver their way past a
door knob.” A student who was available for comment claimed, “I’ve
never had to open a door at Ramapo using my own strength. Now I’m
being forced to use my arms to do things. I’m going to post a status
on Facebook about how hard my life is..”

The decision was made in accordance
with the recent “Pushing Boundaries” marketing campaign. The
faculty is not only challenging lazy students to burn a few extra
calories and open a door, but they’re also pushing the boundaries of
handicapped students, and forcing them to open their own doors,
without any mechanical assistance. “Inspiring” was the word one
Mahwah resident used to describe the campaign.

Although
the recent decision has inspired hundreds of students to open doors
by themselves, many students are still finding it extremely difficult
to actually get around campus and to their classes. However, one
place where students have been finding themselves, surprisingly
enough, is the nurses office, due to the huge spike in concussions
from the amount of students walking straight into doors. The faculty
of Ramapo plans on emailing literature to it’s student body
explaining different methods of opening doors.

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