You know technology and convenience are taking the world
over when you have a ski-lift installed at your school. Well, Cornell, today is
our lucky today. This morning, President David Skorton announced that a
ski-lift will be installed to make it easier for students to walk up the slope.
“This is a new era, and we need to make sure our students can get up and down
the slope without being cold, sweaty, or forcibly touched,” said Skorton on
Wednesday morning.

Skorton said it would be introduced fall semester of 2012. When asked who suggested the
idea, he said that Travis Mayer, Olympic freestyle skiing silver medalist and
Cornell grad, came up with the plan. While the idea may seem crazy, it makes it
extremely easy for all people who live on West Campus to get up the slope.

When asked about the new concept, Morgan Beller, a sophomore in Theta, said, “I’m so
excited that President Skorton decided to finally go through with this. Now I
do not need to walk from Theta to Olin Library and I won’t be sweating all over
my textbooks and ruining the pages.” She makes an excellent point. The slope
can be extremely uncomfortable and is sometimes not worth the walk.

Some students protested it. Alisha Meggers, an Alice Cook resident, said that she
was upset about the entire situation. “So much for the freshman 15, I’m now
going to gain the junior 25. That was my workout every single day, and now,
with the ski-lift, I won’t even think about walking in the cold.”

This may be the biggest news to hit Cornell since the technology school or Dr. James
Maas retiring, but it is definitely a relief for many. No more walking up to
class sweating, no more wind blowing in your face, and no more stress from
walking. I applaud President Skorton because this is just another part of his
plan to take over the world.