While some students at Cornell wonder why their professors hate them, some try to intentionally get their professors to hate them. Here are the top ten ways to piss off a Cornell professor:
10. Go to class 4 times the entire semester. NO MORE, MAYBE LESS.
9. Walk into class late and throw the door open while making as much noise as possible, creating a huge distraction for no reason. MAKE A SCENE.
8. Stare at your phone or laptop the entire time and leave your headphones in. NEVER LIFT YOUR HEAD UP.
7. Fall asleep in class and start snoring. LOUD.
6. Raise your hand, as if you are going to answer a question, and ask if you can go pee. Do not say go to the bathroom or restroom. Ask them if you can go PEE.
5. Laugh after everything the professor says. NOT A GIGGLE, FULL-OUT LAUGHTER.
4. Bring a farting machine to class and place it under another students chair. Make it fart every 5 minutes, that way it’s not obvious that it is a machine. DO NOT PLACE THE MACHINE ANYWHERE NEAR YOU.
3. Ask the same question they just got done answering three times. NO LESS, POSSIBLY MORE.
2. Yell WRONG after every single thing they say. EVERY SINGLE THING.
1. Combine 2 through 10 and show up to the last office hours of the semester saying you need extra credit so that you can finish with at least a C+. DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN A C+.
