Let’s say hypothetically speaking your name starts with an
A. You are used to getting butt dialed at this point in your life seeing as I’m
sure you’ve had a cell phone since middle school. But, once you go abroad
getting butt dialed has a whole new meaning. And mostly it has to do with
money. If you’re lucky and have Verizon since we all know AT&T has the most
manipulative plans for overseas (try taking your iPhone abroad and see what happens
to your next bill) you only get charged 99 cents a minute for every abroad
call. Not too shabby.

But when you fat ass calls me and leaves me a 15 minute
long voicemail of your not so interesting night I’m not going to be happy.
Because 1. I’m going to be excited seeing as wow, hey I have a voicemail
awesome”¦but oh wait, what’s that”¦.yeah sounds a lot like J.O’s to me. 2. That
costs me what, like 15 bucks, okay not bad, but when that happens 10 times
abroad that’s 150 bucks”¦not so funny buddy. 3. It may be 1am in Ithaca, but
it’s 7am in Europe and I went to bed about an hour ago and have to wake up in
two hours for “class” so yeah”¦hey you”¦cut it out and lock your phone! Also, in
general if you know me well enough to have my phone number you should know I’m
in Europe…don’t text me, don’t call me at all. I have facebook. I have
unlimited BBM.I have email. I have sex. And I’m happy. 

I’m in Europe living
with dream, sorry I’m not sorry you were stupid enough not to study abroad
because you’re so “patriotic’ while you get drunk and dance on tables singing
Coyote Ugly. God, America is great. But anyway, not to sound repetitive, but I’m
going to be repetitive”¦leave me alone, don’t call me and text me or
else”¦friendship over.