Dear men of USC,


please, PLEASE stop wearing crew socks with shorts. I don’t know what has
prompted this trend, but I abhor it. Maybe it’s because I’m from the East
Coast, since I don’t think anyone back home seriously wears crew socks. And
when I say “seriously,” I mean no one wears them in a non-ironic
sense unless their mother still dresses them or they are middle-aged men. But
out here, at USC, I walk around campus and I see them much more often than I’d
like to.


USC is a
campus full of beautiful people, and I like to appreciate them. In a
non-creepy way, of course (or at least not too creepy). Anyways, I’ll be
walking around campus, going about my daily business, and then I’ll see one. An
attractive guy (not that there’s a shortage here), wearing a nice t-shirt,
shorts, nicely-styled hair, etc. Then I look down for whatever reason and I’ll
stop in my tracks. He’s wearing crew socks. For me, finding out that a hot guy
is wearing socks just shatters the entire illusion of his allure. It’s like finding
out Santa Claus doesn’t exist””he’s almost perfect, he’s really hot, but””oh
wait. He’s wearing crew socks. Which relegates him to imaginary status, sorry,
he’s the same as Santa now, and with about the same amount of sex appeal. I bet
Santa wears crew socks.


I’m sorry,
but as a female, or at least as this
female, I find crew socks repugnant. When I see a guy
wearing crew socks, it immediately reminds me of my father and/or the
supergeeks from my high school. Now, men of USC, let me ask you this: do you
really want to remind me of my father or a dweeb? I didn’t think so. So please,
for the love of humanity, take off the crew socks and stick to ankle socks or
flip flops.