Photo: Dramatic reenactment

If you’re in the USC area and have
walked outside recently, you may have had the misfortune to notice it’s been
January and even February for some time now ““ and Angelenos don’t want to take
it anymore.

Despite a great deal of sun,
temperatures have been pretty consistently hovering between the 40s and 60s.
The most significant effect of the cold snap is it’s making us sad.

“Honestly, the coldest I can take is
“man, should have worn a jacket,'” an upset junior said last weekend. “But
this”¦ This is like cold-through-my-jacket cold. What do you do then?” His
friend added, “touch my nose, see how cold it is. Come on. It’s, like, really

An expert on local weather is equally
chilly, and despondent. “It’s been, God”¦ Years? Er, year. Probably about a year
since we’ve seen something this bad.”

The most common solution enacted has been to
say “um”¦ It’s snowing everywhere else?,” with mixed results. Most residents of
the area still mostly seem pissed that they have to put up with being “uber
freezing all the time.”

Local heartless shrew Mother Nature
could not be reached for comment.