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Universities brawl in competition to bring Natalie Portman to campus
You’ve seen it on Facebook – the push to get Natalie Portman, James Franco, and Danny McBride to come to your school because apparently, these actors’ film “Your Highness” will premiere at whatever university ranks in the most votes. Rutgers currently ranks 1st, Boston U in 2nd, University of College Park in 3rd, and Syracuse University in 16th.
“Like, oh my god, I just want Natalie Portman to come to my campus! Can you imagine!?” says freshman of Northeastern University, currently ranking 8th in the polls. “I don’t know who that Danny Mcwhatever guy is, but Natalie Portman is just soooo pretty!”
“I don’t want them coming here,” says Florida State junior Ray Gonzalenz whose school currently ranks 4th. “Did you see James Franco on the Oscars? I think I’ve had my share of actors who suck balls live.”
Nonetheless, Facebook users and Twitter accounts are being inundated promoting the push to get these actors to come to campus. “I had to remove an additional 23 people from my feed because all of their statuses were in all capital letters, telling me I had to demand my university for this thing. Like. Calm down! No Hollywood actor is coming to Loyola, guys,” says senior Rachel McNaw, whose university Loyola was recently pushed from the event’s top 20 ranks.
1) For all you Resident Advisors, I’ve been there. I get it. You have to close this campus down and invariably there will be some asshole who doesn’t want to leave the dorm by 6pm Sunday afternoon which means you won’t get out of here until long after your sanity and patience have skidaddled. More... MORE »
Well unless you’ve managed to block Twitter, Facebook, RSS Feeds (do people still use these?), your school email, OTN, the DO, and the bulletin boards around campus in an effort to increase your pre-finals productivity (LOLZ jk, we see through your attempts), then here’s the scoop: Today, at 12pm, in Hendricks Chapel, Hillary Clinton provided... MORE »
Dear non-seniors, It has come to our attention that the most recently graduating class of 2012 did not pay enough for college. While most SU students spent approximately $200,000 on their education, we now deem this is not enough. (Which honestly surprised us – we originally anticipated that charging students roughly $20 per meal at... MORE »
Ah, college. Since freshman year, we’ve been surrounded by so many resources, so many options. So many minds filled with thoughts of wonder, inspiration, and encouragement to make the future world a better world by saving the seals, protecting the rainforests, fighting for gender equality, or simply convincing people to switch to CFL light bulbs.... MORE »
“She won’t stop singing,” says Maxwell Tully, junior in Whitman and boyfriend of Rachel Lough who recently purchased a boombox circa 1997 and the original Titanic soundtrack and has been belting Celine Dion for the past two weeks straight. “I clearly couldn’t use my iPod,” Lough says, “they didn’t exist in 1997 – YOU’RE HEEERREEE!... MORE »
“I couldn’t stop grieving,” Sam Bolindy said, Chucks pitcher still in hand since Saturday night. “I needed to ease my pain. I knew I had to move on, but I didn’t know how.” And that’s when Bolindy traded his pitcher of $4 beer in for an Old Fashioned early Sunday and drowned his sorrows in... MORE »
“I was having the time of my life, yknow? Off on the beaches of Puerto Rico, thinking all these inevitably gorgeous pictures I am taking will surely come out wonderfully…And then, I looked back at them and I couldn’t believe my eyes.” What junior Felicity Coughman is describing is a recent affliction among iPhone/iPad and... MORE »
I’d like to state that I am not an alcoholic. But I do like a good drink. What I don’t like is going down to DJs/Chucks/Lucys/Flip Night and waiting for seemingly decades to get to the bar only to find out their drink selection is based on lackluster liquor and even shittier beer. Why bother?... MORE »
Feeling like you really want to head to the bars this weekend but don’t have the oomph? Can’t justify the trek from Ackerman to Faegans in the chilly temps? Wish you could simply have the Chucks experience in your living room? Then fear no more ““ Campus Basement is here to service you (and your... MORE »
If you thought school was expensive when you enrolled at Syracuse University, think again – the prices have just gone up. Meal plans are slated to average $3,120 per 14 week semester for the 2012-2013academic year. “I did the math,” sophomore Jeremy Lukeidis said. “If I could spend the money on the food I want... MORE »
I don’t know a lot about sports. I get the gist of it, but beyond that, the hype and the hoopla usually bore me. That being said, I support our basketball team as much as the next orange-clad fan and attend the games, yell Scoop’s name, and jump for joy when we beat the shit... MORE »
This Syracusean winter (or lack thereof) has certainly been weird to say the least. No snow on the ground and warm, sunny days in February? Nice try, 315, cut the shit. While we’re sure these are the early signs of the 2012 apocalypse, in your remaining time before the world ends, find out what your... MORE »
A Syracusean parody of Shit People Say brought to you by the Campus Basement: Syracuse Staff (including writer and actress Nicole Grabert!) with assistance from Ashlie Daubert and Anne Marie Suchanek. Looks like The Newshouse has their own version of Shit Syracuse Girls Say. Watch it! It’s really funny. MORE »
In spite of Occupy Wall Street and other “Occupy” movements that have cited the growing discrepancies in the distribution of wealth, it appears the 99% have lost additional fellow comrades: Follets Bookstore is closing in February as its managers and owners have set their eyes on trading in their 99% working class attire for new... MORE »
Following a record-breaking season, Syracuse basketball lost its first game tonight against the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. “We’re protesting,” senior James O’Conner says. “Anyone of Irish descent is officially changing said heritage tonight.” With that, O’Conner immediately crossed off his name on his student ID to Ezekial Monora. “I really didn’t know what wasn’t Irish,... MORE »
Ah, the dawn of a spring semester at Syracuse University ““ a time when spring itself is nothing but a thought over yonder, behind the mile-high snow banks and record-breaking wind chills. A time when students return to campus and thus, rejoice in their awaiting academia, frolicking to the thought of cold nights spent curled... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! 1. Cover the room in sand and bring in a new roommate. Tell them they’ve been voted off the island. 2. Set up a live studio... MORE »
Following the recent highly-researched and well-articulated Daily Orange column, the dynamics of Syracuse University students and their sexual relations have dramatically shifted. While once upon a time, all undergrads were created equally ““ each frolicking in the unmade bed of another ““ now it seems, each student must adhere to the social and romantic protocol... MORE »
Additional tours added to SU for current and incoming students to see Michael Jordan’s daughter’s room
Greeting current or incoming students! Are you tired or bored with the same ole, same ole that SU has shown you? Are you frustrated with ho-hum tours that only reveal inaccurate depictions of dorm room sizes, dining hall food, and expensive classroom materials that you will pay for but never be allowed to use? Are... MORE »
Are you in Syracuse for the summer? Are you looking for something exciting to do this month? (Psst – Faegan’s is closed on the weekends during summer and DJ’s is closed for the entire summer What are we going to do with ourselves?!.) Well then, look no further! Brought to you by Columbia... MORE »