You’ve seen it on Facebook – the push to get Natalie Portman, James Franco, and Danny McBride to come to your school because apparently, these actors’ film “Your Highness” will premiere at whatever university ranks in the most votes. Rutgers currently ranks 1st, Boston U in 2nd, University of College Park in 3rd, and Syracuse University in 16th.
“Like, oh my god, I just want Natalie Portman to come to my campus! Can you imagine!?” says freshman of Northeastern University, currently ranking 8th in the polls. “I don’t know who that Danny Mcwhatever guy is, but Natalie Portman is just soooo pretty!”
“I don’t want them coming here,” says Florida State junior Ray Gonzalenz whose school currently ranks 4th.  “Did you see James Franco on the Oscars? I think I’ve had my share of actors who suck balls live.”
Nonetheless, Facebook users and Twitter accounts are being inundated promoting the push to get these actors to come to campus. “I had to remove an additional 23 people from my feed because all of their statuses were in all capital letters, telling me I had to demand my university for this thing. Like. Calm down! No Hollywood actor is coming to Loyola, guys,” says senior Rachel McNaw, whose university Loyola was recently pushed from the event’s top 20 ranks.