“There literally isn’t
a more attractive thing a person can do with their face,” Jack Pike, graduate
philosophy student, asserts in his thesis. “A physical representation of ideal
beauty has really just been theoretical”¦ Until now.”

Pike says he stumbled
upon this facial expression equivalent of your head wearing an Ed Hardy shirt
(in”¦ a good way) while conducting research on what makes someone or something “beautiful.”
Not even looking for an answer, he realized he found one – this face his
friends had been making all along.

“We all wonder what we’d
look like with more defined cheekbones, stronger jaws, and more duck-like lips,”
he explains, and the Duck Face is becoming more and more prevalent in photos as
people take that dream and make it a reality. They have discovered the limits
of physical human perfection (which isn’t, as previously believed, Sofia

The Face does already
have its outspoken detractors, but is one of those things nay-sayers may do
sarcastically (such as fist-pumping, saying “exqueeze me,” livejournaling) that
they eventually are just doing, and
enjoying, because the appeal is universal
and unavoidable.

In another surprise break-through, Pike discovered and
tracked down the inventor of the Face, who took the very first picture
featuring it in San Diego in 1994. Unfortunately, he died less than a year
later of alcohol poisoning in a tanning bed.

“He never knew what he gave the world, or me,” Pike sheds a
single tear. “All I know is I haven’t stopped sticking my lips out like this
for weeks. And I probably never will.”