“There literally isn’t
a more attractive thing a person can do with their face,” Jack Pike, graduate
philosophy student, asserts in his thesis. “A physical representation of ideal
beauty has really just been theoretical”¦ Until now.”
Pike says he stumbled
upon this facial expression equivalent of your head wearing an Ed Hardy shirt
(in”¦ a good way) while conducting research on what makes someone or something “beautiful.”
Not even looking for an answer, he realized he found one – this face his
friends had been making all along.
“We all wonder what we’d
look like with more defined cheekbones, stronger jaws, and more duck-like lips,”
he explains, and the Duck Face is becoming more and more prevalent in photos as
people take that dream and make it a reality. They have discovered the limits
of physical human perfection (which isn’t, as previously believed, Sofia
Vergara).
The Face does already
have its outspoken detractors, but is one of those things nay-sayers may do
sarcastically (such as fist-pumping, saying “exqueeze me,” livejournaling) that
they eventually are just doing, and
enjoying, because the appeal is universal
and unavoidable.
In another surprise break-through, Pike discovered and
tracked down the inventor of the Face, who took the very first picture
featuring it in San Diego in 1994. Unfortunately, he died less than a year
later of alcohol poisoning in a tanning bed.
“He never knew what he gave the world, or me,” Pike sheds a
single tear. “All I know is I haven’t stopped sticking my lips out like this
for weeks. And I probably never will.”
