Howdy basement dwellers! Spring Break is just around the corner
and that means you have to book your trips quickly before the good deals go
fast. Here are top spring break destinations for 2012.
Cancun
Three years ago your big sister went on a pledge class trip
to Cancun and it was the craziest week of their lives. You’ve been saying for
years that you should have been there and you want to recreate their amazing
experience.
What you will end up with: A missing wallet and 3 exotic
STDs.
Utah Ski Trip
What, we don’t get enough snow at Syracuse? Oh wait, I get
it. Your parents don’t trust you to go some third world equatorial country.
What you will end up with: No snow for a week, a twisted
ankle, and a bad fake tan because you just had
to try that bronzing lotion on the last day.
Las Vegas
Because Vegas is hosting MTV’s Spring Break there again and you ball so hard, muthafuckas
want to fine you. Clearly.
Where you will end up: In a VIP lounge in the Palms getting
bottle service with John Mayer and Paris Hilton’s second-cousin.
Habitat for Humanity
Oh screw you. You think you’re so much better than everybody
else, don’t cha?
What you will end up with: St. Peter’s permission to enter
the pearly gates. Maybe I shouldn’t have judged you so quickly.
Orlando
HARRY FUCKING POTTER WORLD. I’VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE
FOR THIS MOMENT.
What you will end up with: Severe disappointment.
Home
Because you’re a freshman. If you’re not a freshman, I’m
slightly revolted.
What you will end up with: Freshly laundered clothes and a
Tupperware full of cookies.
