Get out your planners, kids. Syracuse’s football schedule is receiving a midseason shake-up. After last Saturday’s feeble student turnout, when Toledo played Syracuse in the Carrier Dome, Athletic Director Darryl Gross is implementing a revolutionary strategy to get butts in seats. He is pushing back all 12 PM start times to 2 PM, effective immediately.  


“We’ve attempted to make noon games a “thing’ for the past 12 years. They’ve never caught on. We’ve hoped each incoming freshman class would not be so dependent on Friday night partying. Sadly, that’s never been the case.”


Saturday’s game was no exception. A mere 352 fans sat in the student section. A pregame poll confirmed that 98% of them were hungover, and 73% had just regained consciousness and wondered how they managed to get into the Dome. 

They lacked enthusiasm, despite Syracuse’s overtime win. The majority only participated in the “Smile Cam” and the “Key Bank Key Play” by jingling their keys each time Toledo was forced to a third down, resulting in a simultaneous migraine outbreak. 


Arthur George, a senior Political Science major, has season tickets for football but has not made it to any noon games this year. As he put it, “Bro, you can’t be serious. At that point in my day, I’m either trying to kick out my one-night-stand or throwing up from the night before.”


The Athletic Director hopes that by moving the games two hours later, students will be awoken after Saturday’s weekly Orange Alert signal at 1 PM, and providing enough time for a shower and breakfast. 

Image from jankm’s Flickr account. 

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