The Do’s and Do-nots-or-forever-think-why-the-fuck-did-I-actually-just-pay-for-that?

Okay, so since I love do’s and don’t’s articles, here is another! Let me guide you and your families through the wondrous school-sponsored event that is FAMILY WEEKEND!

Do NOT attend:

Golf and tennis at Drumlins:

I don’t know why your families would want to attend a golf and/or tennis session at Drumlins, anyways, but be sure to skip this event. Why? Because despite the fact that your family has paid $40 specifically to attend these blessed events this weekend, it’s still $45 a person to take on one of these sports this weekend.

Any food event in a dining center:

 At some point, your family will wonder what their Family Weekend Registration Fee got them. When they wonder, do NOT bring them to the dining halls, for which you will either have to pay for or use someone elses meal plan to swipe with. Just complain enough about dining hall food and then bargain with your ‘rents to get Roly Poly sandwiches instead (because who can pass up that mango chutney on their wraps?…Anyone?…)

Open Skate/Family Workout

Okay, seriously, what family works out together?

Oh? Yeah? Yours? I don’t care.

While I’m a huge fan of working out, it’s not a hobby of mine I’d like to do in matching jogging suits with my family. Secondly, the “open skate” event (wtf does that even mean) is simply taking your fam to Tennity Ice Rink and paying to ice skate. Wow! Cool SU! Thanks for the awesome family weekend itinerary!

Besides. Who ice skates in September? Tools, that’s who.

“Prepare for the Unexpected: Judicial Violations May Happen” session

As much I’d love to bring my parents to a session on judicial repercussions for university students, specifically those regarding drug and alcohol abuse…oh wait, no I don’t. Because when I get intoxicated, I surprisingly don’t tell my parents….shocking, I know.

Any other information/how-to session

Info on how to live off campus or the school housing process? Want the scoop on student organizations? 

Go to Done.

Do attend:

I know what you must be thinking: What’s left on our itinerary for family weekend? Very little…

Setnor Auditorium Concerts
The musicians and singers of SU perform in several different concerts this weekend. No matter your music tastes, these are sure to impress. Hell, if not for the music, it’s a good chance to check out some sexy a Capella singers.

Non school-sponsored events
So, your parents are here. What do with them?…

Dinosaur BBQ
Museum of Science and Technology IMAX movies
Park St. Farmer’s Market
Get drunk with them!
Franklin Square Ghost Tours (seriously, these sound cool)
Show them!
Get off campus (I know, it’s a radical idea, but you’ll be better for it)