And last but not least!…


  1. Visit the Inn Complete: It’s a short drive to south campus. Hell, you could even walk if you’re not too lazy. Get over there, have a beer, grab some food, play some pool, do trivia, the place has a pretty sweet atmosphere and most undergrads never venture in. Sure, you’ll have to put up with dirty looks from the loser grad students who want to sit and drink their beers alone while they cry about how they have no friends, but whatever, just tell them to suck it. (Note: I’m not referring to ALL grad students, just the ones who always seem to be at the Inn when I go and give me dirty looks.)

  1. Go to a soccer or lacrosse game: Our soccer team is decent and our lacrosse team is kickass, and yet no one goes to games. This is a must-do before graduation. Sure, the games aren’t really as entertaining as basketball, but the soccer games are usually around 7 PM and the lacrosse games are in the middle of the day on Saturday. What the hell else are you doing? You can lie about going to the gym another day, go watch other people run around. It’s as close to exercise as you’ll get.
  1. Go to the State Fair: It’s the New York State Fair held in our very town, yet I would venture to guess that only 5% of SU grads made the trek in their 4 years, despite the fact that all you have to do is hop on 690 and you’re there. Fried dough, fried oreos, fried milkshakes, fried nutsack, it’s all fried! Play some carnival games while your arteries play a game called, “How Fast Can We Clog?”
  1. Write your name at Chuck’s: An obvious one, but I feel the need to state it here. Don’t do it during your junior year, or you’ll look like an asshole. The best way to do it is during that last week of senior year, right before graduation when everyone is getting all sentimental. Then, you hold back the tears, pull out a Sharpie, and draw a penis over your best friend’s name. Devastating times.
  1. Take a Physical Education class: My recommendation: Downhill Skiing. If you don’t ski, I’d still recommend it, just because, with any luck, you’ll fall in a hilarious way and someone will catch it on video. Whatever you take, it’s better than sitting in an economics class. Plus, you can rub it in the faces of your friends who have busy majors. While they’re inventing a new form of calculus, you can snorkel in Webster Pool.