Right now, all SU students are in that awkward time period
between Christmas and New Years Eve. While we are disappointed that Christmas
is over we are counting down the days until New Years Eve where we can start
working on our first hangover of 2012. But I want to take the time to remind
our readers that we should be thankful that we are not one of the five SU
students still on campus. To help cheer up their spirits (I don’t know how it
will) let’s take a deeper look at these five students:

Timothy Downsend ““ A sophomore living on South
Campus. Timothy’s last final was on the 16th, and was set to leave
by bus two days later. Unfortunately for him, he never checked the Centro Bus schedule.
So he didn’t know about the cutbacks over winter break. As of now he is still
waiting at his South Campus bus stop for a bus. The only thing Timothy is left
to say is “my bad.”

Casey Barney ““ A freshman living in Flint Hall,
Casey is clearly not ready for the real world because he hasn’t figure out how
he will be coming home. He was really counting on getting a ride home from his
roommate, even though he lives more than fifty miles out of the way. When that
fell through, he became ride-less and has been that way ever since. It’s
actually amazing he was able to make it home during Thanksgiving.

Brian Riley ““ As an architecture major, Brian
had been awake for six days straight. Sleep deprivation, mixed with the amount
of Adderall in his system has left Brian in a deep sleep similar to that of a
coma patient that lasted until yesterday. He is now referred to as patient
zero, as he is the first person ever to be diagnosed with a condition like

Zheng Zhou ““ A student from China, Zhou misplaced
his passport, and is now stranded on campus. A campaign has been started in his
name to help bring him home.

Gertis- Yes, the homeless guy on Marshall Street
has moved into a quad in Watson Hall. Don’t worry though, Gertis’ wheelchair
and shift on Marshall Street has been picked up by another homeless man until
Gertis gets back.

For those of you that are reading this article and are still
in Syracuse: “Godspeed.”

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