The oh-so-amazing
Hofstra Law School is being sued as per se* part of a class action law suit by
a lawyer with a name suggesting connections to a famous jeans company. One may
suggest this to be a conspiracy urging more lawyers to wear jeans in the
courtroom. Others believe this would not have happened if poor people would
stop wanting to fulfill their “American Dream”, and leave the practice of law
to the top 1% of the population. Rich people know better. How else would they
be rich if they did not know how to steal, embezzle, or commit fraud without
getting caught? One of Hofstra’s greatest graduates, Bernie Madoff, made
billions of money and is currently”¦wait”¦what? Oooooooh. My bad!
There is a
fighting chance for HU Law, and I say they should not give up. It is about time
for a dance-off between us and them. I believe the case was stated anyway when
these big-shot, fat cat lawyers drinking their Martinis for lunch, and eating caviar at tea time sent
small-time rapper, Lil’ Red Hoodie and DJ STD as the process servers. Immediately
after serving the law school dean, Lil’ Red Hoodie proceeded to break dance to
his latest single “Pwned like N0obian Que3n!” After a 30 second finale of
spinning on his hand, Lil’ Red Hoodie bounced faster than a college grad’s rent
check ““we all be so poor, ya’ll! The dean and all his professors had just been
served, and they knew it”¦was”¦ON!
To keep up
with the quid pro quo* of a case as important and to maintain a pro forma*
attitude, the faculty at HU Law suited up in their sweats, knee pads, and Air
Force Ones. The troupe of break dancing professors are currently practicing in
Calkins 139 and Lowe 108, exchanging turns with the drama and dance department
since they have no prior precedent in the space giving the thespian kids ipso
facto* ad infinitum* control over the space. Wherever law school professors
practiced be it in a fluorescent lit dance studio, the law library, or the
streets, you know the Beastie Boys are being played and drama is kicking in
high gear. Even the intelligent design of an elitist law professor has his
problems getting on in the streets. That all changed though with the return of
a good friend thought to be lost after a major bro fight, Sahil Gonkika-Yaurassa.
With this class-action severance being processed, HU Law now has a fighting
chance with the Fury of Curry back on their side alongside longtime tenured
professor, Uri Fierstein aka Spin Doctor Dreidel.
With a top
notch team of law, HU Law School now has a fighting chance against the lower
classes of big-shot city law trying to horn in on their parade. To combat this “class-action
lawsuit”, HU Law will ollie, kickflip, and 180 Spin their way to victory
(although those may be skateboard moves). The law of Curry and Dreidel will be
heard and there ain’t nothin’ you can d’ “bout that. Yeah, YEAH!
*= Misusing law terminology is fun.
