Ah, yes, Spring has sprung…. From the end of March until the end of June, we are treated to some pleasant weather, the blossoming of flowers, and animals coming out of hibernation. These animals emerge for the mating season, where they take part in humping the shit out of each other in order to have as many babies as possible.
Don’t think us humans are beyond mating season; no, not at all. Our animalistic urges peak fast with the increasingly warm weather, though luckily we have created a thing called birth control. And another thing called abortion if the aforementioned fails us.
A testament to our species, college students in particular, reducing themselves to complete sex mongers are the flyers that have recently been posted around the Ramapo College Campus. Senior psych major Isabelle Conforte has been pasting “FUCK BUDDY WANTED” flyers to the inside of bathroom stalls in all Men’s restrooms around campus.
The flyer reads:
FUCK BUDDY WANTED
Minimum 4 years sexual activity experience required
Must be free of noncurable STD’s. Chlamydia is fine.
No texting or communicating about nonsexual things.
Must be creative, willing to take initiative, and a team player.
Drunk texting and sexting experience is a plus.
*If you are interested in this position, please send resume and cover letter to iconfort@ramapo.edu
