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Clementine Erotica

Picture by apost

November 30, 2010 at 6:59 pm

FULL SIZE IMAGE

The Johnson Museum at Cornell opens a new exhibit for one week only that shows off the most sexual and sensual pieces of art work made from fruit.

SEE MORE » clementine, erotic, sex

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March 17, 2012

Promiscuous Daily Sun Photographer Catalogues 161 O-Faces of Cornell

In a special feature of Monday’s Daily Sun, libidinous Sun photographer Stephanie Adams ’13 unveiled a year-long project in which she captured the euphoric faces of 161 Cornell men and women mid-orgasm, and then edited the photos into black and white. The 4-page long spread encapsulates the diversity of the Cornell study body, through its... MORE »

January 5, 2012

My Winter Break Movie Guidelines

If you’re like me then your winter break has been jam packed with movies, and if you’re Jewish like me then these aren’t movies that you’ve paid for. I put more effort into researching a movie I might have to pay to see in theatres than I’ve put into my thesis. First, I check RottenTomatoes.com... MORE »

December 27, 2011

Things I Hate About Females. Written by a Female.

Look, don’t let the title of this article fool you. I love being a girl. There’s nothing more satisfying than being able to have casual sex every weekend simply by wearing a low cut top with something shiny and distracting on it and mentioning that I have an N64 to go along with my piece... MORE »

December 19, 2011

4.0 GPA Totally Compensates for Sex-less Semester, Rationalizes Freshman

Upon checking his course grades on student center, freshman Phineas Plottman expressed tempered joy and mild exuberance over the fact that his semester spent not fornicating with members of the opposite sex, culminated in a 4.0 GPA. “Oh my gosh, this feeling is so amazing,” said Plottman meekly, “definitely more satisfying than repeatedly thrusting my... MORE »

December 16, 2011

Mann Library Sees Increased Attendance Through Rental of Sex Rooms

In attempt to attract more students to the library and to reduce student stress during finals week, Mann library converted all of its rarely-used study rooms into sex rooms. This initiative was sponsored by Cornell CARES, and proved to be a major hit over the course of study week. “Hardly anybody would ever rent out... MORE »

December 10, 2011

Finals Fornication

It is terribly important that we all at Cornell, get A’s on every exam and every paper. But, the most important weeks of our year come in December and May. Finals week. From interviews and experience Cornell Basement has found that the ultimate key to success during Finals Week is sex. Yes, you can be... MORE »

December 9, 2011

Warren Hall Hopes You Are Practicing Safe Studying

As finals week progresses Cornell Administrative staff wish all of the students a safe and healthy experience. Walking to Mann today it was difficult NOT to notice the giant blown-up condoms coming out of Warren Hall. Let it be a reminder to us all on this fine day: you’re super horny, but you’re in the... MORE »

December 5, 2011

Formal Season 2011: This is how I’ll die, isn’t it?

What’s your favorite time of year…Christmas or Wedding Season? Formal Season! That’s right fellow Cornellians, it is that time of the semester where you have nothing to do because classes are over and study week has yet to begin. It’s the best time of the year. Get all fancy in your dress or your shirt... MORE »

September 25, 2011

Freshman Finally Finds Opportunity To Use Condom Stored In His Wallet Since Seventh Grade

While September 21 was an ordinary day for most of us, twenty three seconds made that day extraordinary for one Cornell University freshman. September 21 marks the day young Joseph Bemlin lost his Virginity. The young collegiate recalls spending the night consuming alcoholic drinks with his friends at a fraternity event. While Joe had said... MORE »

December 14, 2010

You Know You Go to Cornell When…

You see this picture and think “I’d like to have sex there”. #1 on the list of 161 things to do before you graduate Cornell is sex in the stacks, and as a student I can’t say I’m anymore immune to this than the rest of you.. show me a dark creepy hallway that looks... MORE »

April 23, 2012

No Spring Maintenance….

After last Friday’s 85-degree weather, it appears that Cornell University has used all of its spring maintenance funding on keeping the Lake Effects snow out of the forecast, not accounting for the shocking, yet annual, mid-April snow and sleet storm. While on a campus tour this morning, a pre-frosh was overheard stating “well, it can... MORE »

April 18, 2012

When Cornell Basement staff react….

April 10, 2012

Hunger Games At Cornell: Which College Will Win?

Ezra Cornell was actually a pretty twisted President. When he founded Cornell he also said that at the 147th (arbitrary number chosen similar practice done by the Mayans for their calendars) Commencement, rather than have the standard “all rise and all sit, congratulations you’ve graduated” at the ceremony, all 4 state colleges will have a... MORE »

April 9, 2012

Cornell University Hides Oprah

What some people thought was an April Fools joke at Cornell University was actually reality! Oprah was at Cornell. But, how did nobody know about her arrival, her stay or her departure? If anyone could pull off a magic trick like this it is David Blaine. Yes, Cornellians that is right. Cornell Administrators paid David... MORE »

April 2, 2012

Mayor Bloomberg Professes Love to Cornell in Song and Dance:

Go to time 2:10 MORE »

April 1, 2012

Yogurt Crazy Bases Hours on New Cornell Study

A new business study from the Dyson School at Cornell shows that undergraduates only eat frozen yogurt at two points: when they are drunk or when the sun has completely set. When the Daily Sun article came out, students were confused as to whether or not this article was meant to be written for the... MORE »

March 29, 2012

Who Do You Want for Slope Day: A Cornell Basement Interactive Poll

March 19, 2012

Breaking News: Lefties Protest Outside Olin

Yesterday, outside Olin Library, Lefties came together to protest against the abundance of righty desks and lack of lefty desks around Cornell’s Campus. With so many famous, successful, lefties, it is disturbing to these students that they are underrepresented. “We used to be persecuted against. There’s a long history of discrimination against our people. My... MORE »

March 17, 2012

Study Buddy: A Cornell Basement Syndicated Column

Dear guy sitting behind me in Mann who keeps making sighing noises, I REFUSE to turn around and acknowledge you. I don’t care, I won’t turn around and look at you. Others might, but not me. Your sighs are getting louder and closer together like you’re having contractions. I WON’T look back. Eyes on my... MORE »

February 25, 2012

RUMORS: Ithaca Mayor dating a Kardashian?

Oh and don’t worry it’s not Khloe…she and Lamar are like a rock. Sturdy and round. Some people have been trying to throw viewers off course by saying that Kim Kardashian is dating Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks. But we all know she is trying to steer clear of athletes and singers due... MORE »

February 19, 2012

How to Have a Successful Chilifest: Ithaca 2012

Ithaca has gorges, wineries, Cornell, Applefest and Chilifest. That’s about it. There is nothing else going for this city so it is important to know how to make the best of what you have. 1. Never pay for chili: you might be asking….how can I enjoy such a glorious day without paying for any chili? ah... MORE »

February 15, 2012

Top 5 Worst Gifts Received on Valentine’s Day: Cornell Style

1. A Photo Framed of Yourself: you know that you’re in a terrible relationship when you boyfriend gives you a framed picture of himself for Valentine’s Day. Yes, GQ rated us the doucheiest school in the country, but your boyfriend takes the cake. His graduation photo with the cap and gown…what are you his Aunt?... MORE »

February 7, 2012

Shit Cornellians at Cornell Say

Agreed upon by some disagreed upon by few….these are the shits that we say up in here. MORE »

February 6, 2012

BREAKING NEWS: Cornell Working to Hire Victor Cruz as Salsa 101 Instructor

Everyone at Cornell (except transfers…how come they get away with this?) has to take two gym classes and a swim test before they are able to graduate. For some reason it is important that we have both academic knowledge and have 6 credits worth of some physical activity knowledge. We are a well rounded university!... MORE »

February 1, 2012

Incidences of Hypothermia Increase Due to Lack of Alcohol During Pledging

Even though, in recent weeks, the weather in Ithaca has been unseasonably warm, because of lack of alcohol during pledging students have found themselves feeling like a foreigner….cold as ice (to any 80s music fans out there). “I used to wear a liquor jacket out ever night. Now I’m freezing outside because I can actually... MORE »

January 30, 2012

We Don’t Eat Meat….Or Products of Anything With Feelings

Ah yes, another “you know you go to Cornell when” photo. This is more than that though. This is a warning sign. If you see this car be cautious, the people on board are angry because they are most likely hungry. Additionally they are probably mad at you because you support hydrofracking even though you... MORE »

January 25, 2012

The Giants v. The 49ers: From a Guy Who Doesn’t Know About Sports

So you’re probably thinking, why don’t I know anything about sports? I am a guy and I want to join a frat. Not the typical stereotype now, am I? Yeah, breaking barriers! Anyway, I played sports when I was a kid. Standard, Little League and soccer where everyone runs around chasing the ball and there... MORE »

January 13, 2012

You’ve Done it Again. RIP Palms O’Clock.

Dear Cornell, Thank you. Sincerely, Graduating seniors and recent alums Yes, we thank you for all the hard work you have put in, to make us want to leave your campus, and be okay with the fact that our jobs are so competitive and demanding that we are unable to make the trip to come... MORE »

December 21, 2011

Drunk Letters To Santa (Cornell)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! YOOO FAT WHITE BIIIITCH!!! So like my bizniss manager sed it’d be a good meiffovve to write you a lettttter about shit I wnt in my... MORE »

December 16, 2011

Transfer Pride: I used to go to Maryland

I used to go to a real school. One where there were tailgates and acid dropping on a Monday at 6pm before Lab and a real Greek Week/Homecoming. Ah yes and one where the Jewish Council students broke it down real hard in the library during finals week. At Cornell we have Club Mann…..at UMD... MORE »