In preparation for finals at Cornell one professor prepared his students for the worst if caught cheating…and I quote, “If I catch you cheating I will rip off your fucking head and shit in your neck.”
Good luck bitches.
Enjoy the last week of classes before study week and finals start, oh and watch out for psychotic professors apparently they’re rampant.
Two professors falling for each other is a common thing in the education system. The work place is often a dating hot-spot even though workers are told not to mingle with one another. After two years of dating, two Cornell biology professors are getting married in July, and they’re doing so at the place where... MORE »
Don’t you hate it when professors tell you to turn off your cell phones when you’re in class or keep them on silent? Clearly having my phone constantly in my hand during your class is the only thing keeping me from falling asleep. What would you prefer? But, what I hate more than that is... MORE »
One more post about the yawning scandal and I’m DONE, promise. This was too funny to pass up, though – check out this homemade Cornellian video in response to the infamous freakout. I am now going to lock myself in the library for the next 48 hours now. Bye. MORE »
ORIGINAL POST DATE: October 22nd, 2010 So word on the street and around Statler High is that a certain Hotel School professor recently flipped out during lecture because he heard someone yawn. I saw the video of the lecture (it was intimidating yet hilarious) but unfortunately I don’t have access to download it for all... MORE »
Last night, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show had a very unexpected outcome: not only did they showcase their goods in a high profile setting, they set a dubious guiness world record for most erections occurring at one point in time. In a study conducted by Cornell’s Statistics Department early this morning, it was determined that... MORE »
Adam Rosenberg failed out of his study abroad program. This is the first time in Cornell University history that any student has failed out of their program. It would not be the first time a student was kicked out of their program. That’s actually quite commonplace. These things happen abroad be it from excessive consumptions... MORE »
With all the rumors of Vinny Guadagnino coming to Cornell being untrue, thousands of Ivy League students were shocked and astounded to find that a satirical news website would provide them with inaccurate information. Lucky for you, Earthlings, a REAL extraordinary sensation has crash-landed in Beebe Lake at approximately 3:28 AM. Broadcasted on every major... MORE »
SNOW IN OCTOBER?! MORE »
Grum produces some of the most interesting music videos I have seen out of any artist (not to mention that the songs are good by themselves), and here are a few of them. Enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7-glnSlIjM Grum – Can’t Shake This Feeling https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N_yF7I1VIE Grum- Through The Night MORE »
Last year I went to one Cornell home football game. It was homecoming so I don’t remember much, but what I do remember was that the cheerleaders were far more entertaining. I left the game after what I would say was probably five or ten minutes right about the time when the opposing team, Fordham... MORE »
After last Friday’s 85-degree weather, it appears that Cornell University has used all of its spring maintenance funding on keeping the Lake Effects snow out of the forecast, not accounting for the shocking, yet annual, mid-April snow and sleet storm. While on a campus tour this morning, a pre-frosh was overheard stating “well, it can... MORE »
Ezra Cornell was actually a pretty twisted President. When he founded Cornell he also said that at the 147th (arbitrary number chosen similar practice done by the Mayans for their calendars) Commencement, rather than have the standard “all rise and all sit, congratulations you’ve graduated” at the ceremony, all 4 state colleges will have a... MORE »
What some people thought was an April Fools joke at Cornell University was actually reality! Oprah was at Cornell. But, how did nobody know about her arrival, her stay or her departure? If anyone could pull off a magic trick like this it is David Blaine. Yes, Cornellians that is right. Cornell Administrators paid David... MORE »
Go to time 2:10 MORE »
A new business study from the Dyson School at Cornell shows that undergraduates only eat frozen yogurt at two points: when they are drunk or when the sun has completely set. When the Daily Sun article came out, students were confused as to whether or not this article was meant to be written for the... MORE »
Yesterday, outside Olin Library, Lefties came together to protest against the abundance of righty desks and lack of lefty desks around Cornell’s Campus. With so many famous, successful, lefties, it is disturbing to these students that they are underrepresented. “We used to be persecuted against. There’s a long history of discrimination against our people. My... MORE »
Dear guy sitting behind me in Mann who keeps making sighing noises, I REFUSE to turn around and acknowledge you. I don’t care, I won’t turn around and look at you. Others might, but not me. Your sighs are getting louder and closer together like you’re having contractions. I WON’T look back. Eyes on my... MORE »
Oh and don’t worry it’s not Khloe…she and Lamar are like a rock. Sturdy and round. Some people have been trying to throw viewers off course by saying that Kim Kardashian is dating Jeremy Lin of the New York Knicks. But we all know she is trying to steer clear of athletes and singers due... MORE »
Ithaca has gorges, wineries, Cornell, Applefest and Chilifest. That’s about it. There is nothing else going for this city so it is important to know how to make the best of what you have. 1. Never pay for chili: you might be asking….how can I enjoy such a glorious day without paying for any chili? ah... MORE »
1. A Photo Framed of Yourself: you know that you’re in a terrible relationship when you boyfriend gives you a framed picture of himself for Valentine’s Day. Yes, GQ rated us the doucheiest school in the country, but your boyfriend takes the cake. His graduation photo with the cap and gown…what are you his Aunt?... MORE »
Agreed upon by some disagreed upon by few….these are the shits that we say up in here. MORE »
Everyone at Cornell (except transfers…how come they get away with this?) has to take two gym classes and a swim test before they are able to graduate. For some reason it is important that we have both academic knowledge and have 6 credits worth of some physical activity knowledge. We are a well rounded university!... MORE »
Even though, in recent weeks, the weather in Ithaca has been unseasonably warm, because of lack of alcohol during pledging students have found themselves feeling like a foreigner….cold as ice (to any 80s music fans out there). “I used to wear a liquor jacket out ever night. Now I’m freezing outside because I can actually... MORE »
Ah yes, another “you know you go to Cornell when” photo. This is more than that though. This is a warning sign. If you see this car be cautious, the people on board are angry because they are most likely hungry. Additionally they are probably mad at you because you support hydrofracking even though you... MORE »
So you’re probably thinking, why don’t I know anything about sports? I am a guy and I want to join a frat. Not the typical stereotype now, am I? Yeah, breaking barriers! Anyway, I played sports when I was a kid. Standard, Little League and soccer where everyone runs around chasing the ball and there... MORE »
Dear Cornell, Thank you. Sincerely, Graduating seniors and recent alums Yes, we thank you for all the hard work you have put in, to make us want to leave your campus, and be okay with the fact that our jobs are so competitive and demanding that we are unable to make the trip to come... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! YOOO FAT WHITE BIIIITCH!!! So like my bizniss manager sed it’d be a good meiffovve to write you a lettttter about shit I wnt in my... MORE »
I used to go to a real school. One where there were tailgates and acid dropping on a Monday at 6pm before Lab and a real Greek Week/Homecoming. Ah yes and one where the Jewish Council students broke it down real hard in the library during finals week. At Cornell we have Club Mann…..at UMD... MORE »
