In a recent press release, Michael Johnson, Dean of the
Cornell School of Hotel Administration issued the following statement: “We are
a real school. We are a college within an Ivy League Institution, and we demand
to be taken seriously.”


The release comes only days after an incident in which an
anonymous student hacked into the Cornell database and changed the class names
in the School of Hotel Administration to clever things like, “SHA 101: The Art
of the Fresh Towel,” “SHA 134: How to Make the Toilet Paper into a Triangle at
the End,” and, most acidic of all, “SHA 201: What “Do Not Disturb’ Means.”


“This unknown prankster has been completely immature in his
or her actions,” said Johnson in his press release, clearly not fond of the
joke. “This is unacceptable and this person should prepare to face some severe


The press release, which was drafted by Johnson several days
ago, has not been received well. Actually, it has not really been received at
all. Johnson has attempted, futilely, to deliver the three-page letter to
colleagues and students, most of whom told him to “mind the “Do Not Disturb’
sign and just slide it under the door.”