On Monday, Tim Murray announced that Marist will be
renovating the McCann Center to include seating in the gymnasium. Starting next
month, the McCann center, which previously had three seats, will feature a bleacher section large enough to seat
50 people.


According to sources, the renovation has been sparked by a
300-perecent increase in students purchasing basketball season tickets,
bringing the total number of season-ticket holders to 15.


Said Murray of the alterations, “We contemplated just asking
them to bring lawn chairs, but we realized that if these kids are die-hard
enough to come to games, we might as well give them seats,” adding, “In the
past, we didn’t even have seats for our players. But that’s because we don’t
really have enough players to have a bench. So it worked out.”


James Sheridan, one of the students who purchased season
tickets, provided some sound reasoning for his choice. “I’m gonna get hammered,
come to the games, and throw shit at the players. It’s gonna be awesome.”


Murray was not discouraged by Sheridan’s attitude. “I don’t
give a shit if they come to the games just to throw stuff at the players. Hell,
if he’s accurate enough to hit some of them with stuff, we shouldn’t be
reprimanding him. We should be starting him at point guard!”