Seriously? Is this really happening? Let me get this straight: Melo, and I’m completely guessing here, skips a few classes and now he’s ineligible for the tournament? Seriously? I’m going to guess yet again and say that Melo is not the first Syracuse athlete to fail to meet certain academic requirements like going to “class,” or turning in “papers,” or knowing how to “spell” their names. There’s a reason that some of us get academic scholarships and some get athletic ones: no one would want to see me attempt to dunk a basketball only to sprain my ankle around the free throw line the same way no one would pay money to watch Fab Melo sit at a desk and sprain his ankle from concentrating on something too hard. Like spelling his own name. (“Fab…ree…just call me ‘Fab.’”)
It’s one thing to suspend a guy in the regular season. It’s the regular season. It’s the light beer of the sports world: you can tolerate more of it and tell yourself it’s just as good as the real thing, but eventually you’re left wanting something more (ful)filling. And a pizza. And maybe a bag of chips.
And seriously, you had to do this now? According to most reports, Bernie Fine’s allegations span back several decades, yet nobody discovered the allegations until the 2000s. Seriously? What was your thought process, “Well, we’ve got a child abuse scandal on our hands, but hold the phone, this athletic superstar missed a class! SWARM!”Seriously? I get that you’re trying to turn over a new leaf wherein you actually reveal things as they happen, except you’ve already set the precedent that you aren’t a school that does that.
Which brings me to 2003. Seriously? A self-reported investigation into drug use? I know they’re athletes, but they’re still enrolled in college. President Obama used drugs in college! President Bush used drugs in college! It’s college! And call me a pessimist, but it will be a grave day for our nation when Josh Pace swears a Presidential Oath.
Seriously, does anyone really care that a few athletes smoked some pot in college? (You don’t have to be all sly and say they were “recreational drugs,” we know it’s pot. The word “recreational” simply implies that they used them in a park or something.) And seriously, you won’t even come out and say that it’s the 2003 team under investigation. Of course it’s the 2003 team! Why else would it even matter?! If there ain’t a championship involved, nobody ever cares. Nobody’s going to investigate Josh Wright for marijuana use because he didn’t win a championship. And also because he already went to jail for that whole prostitution thing…
Seriously, I would bet a thousand Dion Waiters (that’s a lot, for those unfamiliar with that unit of currency) that tens of thousands of college athletes have smoked pot from 2000 until now and that, unless they were on a championship team, nobody gave a hit. (See what I did?)
Which brings me to my point. You are ruining everything. Seriously, why can’t you just do what every other school does: wait until we win a championship and then, many years down the road, reveal that OOPS! Something was amiss. Some players may have missed a class (or semester) here or there. And yes, that would result in some sadness in 2025 for me, but according to the Mayans, we’ll all be dead by then. So how about you take care of, oh, I don’t know, the impending child abuse scandal looming over Crouse-Hinds like a dementor and just let the Orange faithful enjoy living in the now while the seven-foot elephant in the room does what he does best: blocks shots.
Otherwise, you’ve blocked our shot at a title.
