Sometimes passive-aggressive can get mostly aggressive.
























Sometimes passive-aggressive can get mostly aggressive.
The unanimous results of the latest poll of the attracted-to-men community contains one surprising gem: dressed-up dudes are really hot. “I keep having to remind myself not to stare,” says an anonymous junior of the days her business class dresses up for presentations. When asked if she’d maybe be more productive if there were no... MORE »
Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines Nikias names recipient of staff award : I’m not giving mine away til I’m married Former First Lady of California and journalist Maria Shriver will speak at the Annenberg Communication Commencement : School of Marrying Unfaithful Bodybuilders graduates are piiiiissed DPS officers responded to a... MORE »
“I never thought I’d be someone who DIDN’t cut half my hair off and dye it red,” says Elle, a grad student finishing school in May. She has recently realized what many students do – there’s a small window in which to experiment with extreme hairstyles, after which being taken seriously by the squarer members... MORE »
Feelings is a sexually transmitted disease in the same vein as pregnancy – when wanted, it can be a beautiful thing. When unwanted, as is often the case during college years, it can ruin lives. “My day to day is pretty manageable,” says Alex, a sophomore whose Feelings escalated to Hurt Feelings and to full-blown... MORE »
“I made a bad business decision. I understand that now,” an anonymous* student** says, of the six months’ food money she spent this week on airplane tickets, tequila, sunscreen, Mexican-jail-bribe money and large amounts of cocaine (“as a joke!” she insists, rolling her eyes). “I am an institution! In my hall, in my study groups,... MORE »
“I’m not ordering cocktails made of gold!” yelled one SC senior as he was escorted out of a busy downtown bar last night. “Do they come off-brand?? Do you do payment plans?!” He is just one of many students whose long-awaited 21st birthdays quickly tanked due to bar-drink sticker shock. “Fifteen bucks is either a bottle... MORE »
“It’s like when I found out Santa wasn’t real, all over again,” says Ross*, a junior who hasn’t put a dime toward beer the three years he’s been drinking it. “When I think back to all the shotgunning, all the beer pong… Even the victories feel like shame.” The frequent party host who broke the... MORE »
Some employers look to Facebook profiles to determine a potential hire’s personality : I can’t figure out how to delete that application that put me in Hufflepuff!! DPS detained two bike theft suspects; one was found in possession of a pair of bolt cutters and a bike that he admitted was stolen, and the second suspect... MORE »
Hi, school. We’ve been together for over 16 years now. I know you’re in your 130s and that doesn’t seem like a long time, but it’s 16/21 of my life and I don’t know why you’re doing this to me. I guess I always knew the graduating thing was coming. College is this cushy, insulated... MORE »
Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines DPS safety forum discusses student stress management, decreasing crime rates : Arguably, that second one could take care of both 1970 Los Angeles ban on throwing balls at beaches lifted : All my “MY BALLS, MY CHOICE!” posters must have worked! Onion editors address satire... MORE »
Without laws our society would crumble like so many cookies. Our campus bike traffic is abnormally apocalyptic and Highlander-y, so we here at Campus Basement want to say: good job! That’s how you do it ““ mow down pedestrians/each other, take no prisoners but take the heads for trophies. For those who need help remembering... MORE »
The 3rd century Roman was martyred for forcing people who were dating to decide too early whether they wanted to commit to an expensive night of manufactured romance. He was slowly burned to death by a crowd of bitter singles and angry casual daters. FUN FACT: Stupid presents are a vestigial relationship tradition, invented when... MORE »
Just because you’re working exclusively with lowest-shelf alcohol and off-brand sodas, your fellow bartenders are quickly getting drunk, and you’re behind the dining table your roommates dragged outside doesn’t mean you’re anything less than a mixologist. You’re a crafter of dreams, a nurser of egos. You feed good times to the sober and liquid courage... MORE »
When polled randomly about their heterosexual lady-friends’ objects of affection, 96% of female students claimed a decisive “she could do so much better than him!” Follow up quotes from those surveyed were illuminating about the reasons why: “I tell her she could do so much better every day,” one freshman says sadly. “In a world... MORE »
Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines New health center should mean more comprehensive care, more resources : AND BARRELS UPON BARRELS OF CONDOMS FOR ALL Norris to screen film on religion : Me to stay home and watch Archer $30 million donated to build new hall : It’s great the Dauterives... MORE »
The federal government declared a Communications major west of campus an official disaster area on Thursday, following weeks of destructive behavior and dangerous top speeds of around six shots/hour. In typical fashion, FEMA was slow to respond and residents in her vicinity suffered for it. After two freshman fraternity pledges were evacuated from the area,... MORE »
If this is a basketball, I’m not messing this up yet. We got there 45 minutes early to be one of the first 1000, to get a free bag. Bags weren’t for students. Whatever this “Trojan Fever” is, it must be the reason everyone’s at home. But tickets are free! And shirts are five bucks! With sunglasses! Hell yes!... MORE »
Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines USC Quidditch team will face UCLA on January 29 : A longstanding rivalry that holds a certain magic for some. And an amount of politely hiding embarrassment for their families Daylong Bike Summit included new draft of bike safety recommendations : Suggestions about noticing stop... MORE »
Hello! I live two blocks off campus, I’m not a student and I call the LAPD about your noise more often than I talk to any actual people. You may be thinking, “Aw, man! What gives?” and I’d like the chance to explain! It may not be clear why I need weeknight quiet to my... MORE »