Lindsay Tinkerton is fed up.
“With what?” many a reasonable reader might ask.
If there
is one thing in this beautiful world Lindsay, a sophomore, hates more than
anything, it’s drama.
Thanks to that hate, Lindsay has launched her own personal
attack on drama itself, one bold move and snide comment at a time.
“I’m just so sick of all the drama mamas!!” says (whines)
Lindsay. “We should all just talk out our problems face to face! Unless you’re
a total sluttington like Sylvia, who’s so two-faced it’s impossible to know
which face to talk to and which one to punch. Don’t tell her I said that, we’re
having lunch tomorrow.”
To anyone that cares to notice, Lindsay obviously feels extremely passionate
about this anti-drama endeavor.
“I’m not just talking about girls, either. Guys cause PLENTY
of drama, and it has got to stop! In fact, can you print a message for me?” she
asks with those big brown eyes of hers (Is”¦is she flirting with me? She is
flirting with me). ” “Brad, if you’re reading this, I’m going to hook up with
your cousin if you don’t stop flirting with my geology TA.’ Thanks! These are
the things I’m willing to do in the name of stopping drama!”
Of course, this ambitious endeavor and Lindsay’s methods, like
any other strong causes, have caused some controversy.
“Have I heard of the phrase “fighting fire with fire?’ ”
Lindsay repeats after I ask her out of curiosity and nothing more. “No I haven’t.
Who told you that? Was it Sylvia? She’s a slut, by the way.”
Lindsay did have a response to her critics that she hopes
touches their hearts.
“I’m just trying to do what everyone else should be doing so
that the world is a better place and that we can all actually get along for
once.” Lindsay sighs as she rests her head on my shoulder. I don’t think I like
it. “If anyone has a problem with that dream, it’s probably because they slept
with Sylvia.”
She’s probably right.
