Your second best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines.

New president aims to strengthen community

By community, she meant the tv show.

Pew study found 36 % of young adults heard about Kony 2012 through the internet

The remaining 64% only saw about it through the internet.

Suspect entered classroom while class was in session and attempted to steal two wallets

…Someone noticed.

Parking Structure A staff member reports that an emblem was missing from his department-issued hat

The concerned staff member insisted that suddenly disappearing was very out of character for the emblem in question.

Poll shows Obama would beat Romney

OH, you didn’t say you had a POLL! Is there any point in continuing this election?

Two former LA Coliseum executives arrested for conspiracy in the stadium’s operation

I KNEW those guys selling “invisible hot dogs” were up to something. Unlike what the sign said, they weren’t filling at all.

Historical artifact collectors discuss documents, life

And this CRAZY dream one of them had last night.

There are currently seven Chilean graduate students enrolled at USC

Can YOU spot them? Check your answer on the back!

 Dental school aims to raise 115 million for scholarships, faculty and patient care

And their own Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

 Professor says politicians polarize ignorant voters who fear terrorists

Politician says professors polarize ignorant students who fear LOOK A TERRORIST!

 One book launched to bring students and faculty together

It’s called Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban because everybody liked that one.

 Study reports 60% of young adults know friends moving home after college.

The original study was to find out what percent of young adults ARE moving back home, but interestingly enough, most answers were “someone I know” or “a friend of mine.”

 Thornton Production Manager Heather Hall strives to make guests’ experience enjoyable, draws on experience at Disneyland

That explains the daily parades that have been happening.

 DPS questions person removing the front wheel of a bike, owner of bike confirms no one has permission to remove the wheel

Person admits it was an honest mistake because he was under the impression that not having permission was a key part of theft.