Your second-best source for this week’s Daily Trojan headlines.

USC ranks 6th in bar preparation

Bar as in “places that serve alcohol,” and frankly guys, ya blew it.

USC has a 25% admittance rate for transfer students

In a totally unrelated study, about 25% of USC transfer applicants are really good looking. I don’t know why I even brought it up, it’s so irrelevant.

Philanthropic donations in CA increased 55% in last decade

99% of which happened after watching the KONY2012video last week.

Student senate defers vote on gender-neutral bathroom resolution after noticing survey’s sample size was only 94 students

Sample size is expected to grow once they remember to include the part about the “gender-neutral naked rooms.”

Study finds undergraduate interns* on average will earn 16.21 per hour this summer

*Stripper interns.

USC will host 10-day cello festival

I’m so glad they’re finally doing this because for awhile there I thought I might be the only person that enjoys eating cellos. Obviously I’m not alone.

Lauren Benton withdraws candidacy for Dean of Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences in favor of another position

If someone was pressuring me to be the Dean of something, I would probably ditch it for the Fetal Position too.

Associate professor Priya Jaikumar at the USC School of Cinematic Arts discusses importance of choice

Students were disappointed to find out this lecture was not about birth control. At all.

Commission emphasizes effort toward transparency

And that’s all they can tell us right now.