As the second week of the semester closes, the material being covered in classes is finally starting to touch outside the realm of common sense. As we roll into week three the girl getting over some weight issues who just got her fake ID will once again be easier than your classes, and all will be right with the world. However, as student Derek Mercer showed earlier this week in his Race In Ancient Cultures class, as the knowledge you gain opens the doors of opportunity with the fluctuating freshman it closes the doors to impressing your professor with prior knowledge of the classes subject.

In the Thursday session of his Tuesday and Thursday class this week Mercer raised his hand proudly, as Professor Daniel Riker finished the three class period explanation of the definition of race, and asked, “Will we be considering the writings of Herodotus to be historical fact and an example of ancient Greek culture, or simply using it as a guideline for the primitive forms of prose being developed in the period?” As Mercer finished the question everyone reacted exactly as he expected them to. The students all gasped with jealousy and Greg, Derek’s friend in the class, suddenly recognized the genius he hadn’t seen in his good friend these past years. Professor Riker, In awe, dropped is bearded jaw and gave a look that asked, “what is he doing in this class with all that obvious prior knowledge about the ancient period?” Riker got himself together long enough to answer, saying, “The Herodotus readings will be compared to other ancient texts to exemplify race and class relations…. if you think thats a proper use for it that is?”

Professor Riker stuttered through the last few sentences of his lecture, clearly caught off guard, then reminded the class to do the assigned readings as he dismissed them, giving Derek a look that seemingly exempt him from the assignment. Derek payed little attention to his professor as his cute TA, Bella, now looked at him with favor in her eyes. Derek had asked the useless question and didn’t look like a giant douchebag in the slightest.

As students shuffled out of the class, heads held low knowing that their nights would be sleepless contemplating how their lives could ever matter since they weren’t Derek. Comments about the triumph could be heard ringing through the halls. “Wow,” Said a female student, loudly, “I wish I would see that Derek kid at a party like situation where it’s more acceptable for me to take action on my new sexual attraction to him.” One young man was seen convincing the students around him that he too knew who Herodotus was, saying, “Yea he was like this really old writer guy who went around and looked at stuff and wrote it down.” He failed to convince his peers that he was anything like Derek.

As young Mr. Mercer took his leave from the classroom he was heard assuring Bella, his cute TA, that he was genuinely worried about the misuse of the Herodotus texts in the course, because that happens a lot and it really bothers him.