Halloween is fast approaching. Parties, costumes, scary
movies, candy: all of it adds up to the same excellent October 31st
we experience every year. However, Halloween wasn’t always about dressing up in clever outfits,
trick-or-treating, and grabbing onto one’s attractive friends during the parts
of The Sixth Sense that still scare me.
Most people are not aware that Halloween as we know it was
originally derived from a much older holiday with an entirely different purpose:
All Sluts Day.
Dr. Terrence Yore, a professor and author of Holiday Origins and the Significance They
Have, Probably shed some light on All Sluts Day.
“Long ago, the powers that be set aside one day a year where
Sluts could completely be themselves without ridicule or judgment. There was a
lot of skepticism about the holiday because nobody really thought anyone would
be into it, but to everyone’s surprise, Sluts participated openly and proudly
by simply walking the streets any time they pleased, all day long” explained
Yore. “Perhaps the most shocking part of the whole thing was that men didn’t
hate it.”
It was such a success, in fact, that the holiday was expanded to be an annual
socially acceptable opportunity for Sluts to be slightly more interesting than
“just sluts” and dress accordingly.
For years thereafter, October 31st was the special
day that Sluts were encouraged to be a little more creative about their
identity. On All Sluts Day, an average slut could become a Cat-like Slut, a Pop
Culture Reference Slut, A Classy Librarian Slut, A Pumpkin That’s Also A Slut, or
Anything-she-set-her-mind-to Slut.
This year, USC students intend to observe Halloween with All
Sluts Day in mind.
“Halloween itself has become so commercial, not to mention
kind of sexist,” says Wendy Rhen, a sophomore. “So I’m excited by the idea of
trying something that’s closer to the real meaning of Halloween, like being a
Ghost-Shaped Slut.”
According to a massive Facebook event, an overwhelming majority of USC students
are excited to participate in All Sluts Day this coming weekend.
One particularly enthusiastic young lady was already dressed for the occasion.
When asked about the name of her outfit, she happily replied, “This is a
Magical Elf Princess-that-is-also-very-openly-promiscuous costume!”
And boy does she look more respectable than Halloween ever
did.
On that note, this author
wishes you a very happy (and safe) All Sluts Day!
