Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines

USC still pushing professors to take advantage of technology in the classroom : Come on, professors. Technology has been making eyes at you all year and is clearly down. Sure, it’s kind of drunk. But so are you.

USC attempting to recruit more students from Latin America : Apparently aiming for some Salma Hayek or Sofia Vergara-shaped students.

USC trustee resigns from Coliseum board, claims stadium is “mismanaged” : Coliseum attendees, when interviewed, felt the stadium was “WOOOOOO!!”

Class of 2015 made up of more men and foreign students : More senior-year females mysteriously attending freshman GEs.

Students believe new LA NFL stadium will not significantly negatively affect USC campus or football : The Staples Center took it less well, has allegedly locked itself in its room yelling “you don’t know how to let me love you.”

Rick Perry candidacy leads some to falsely believe Texas is a better job market for graduates than California : Source still under investigation for rumors that Rick Perry is “an inspirational triumph in bed.”

New study shows ethnically-diverse USC causes less diversity in student friendships : When interviewed, Elmo didn’t look up from his coffee. “Elmo doesn’t know what else to say to you people.”

Incoming Trojans’ SAT scores up 20 points this year : But one thing the freshmen don’t have that will always separate us: the ability to love.

Facebook becoming a more professional networking tool for students : But we’re not going to take it away as a posting-drunk-pictures tool for the people who still insist on using it as one.

USG decides resolutions will now die slightly after the end of each term, instead of dying right at the end : USG officials whispered softly to the resolutions that, no matter what, goddammit, they’ll live on in their hearts.

National decline in snail mail usage not reflected in USC’s campus post office : We make our grandmothers enroll for a reason.

Leavey will start renting iPads to grad students : And yet, callously ignores my requests to rent a new iPod to ME

Students nationwide protest high textbook prices : “Don’t be so immature! This stuff doesn’t grow on”“ “¦Oh.” – Publishers