To all you single folks out there this Valentine’s Day, you
got it lucky. I would give almost anything to not be in a relationship for this
upcoming V-Day. Now, the other 364 days out of the year, I completely love
having someone to cozy up to late at night. But trust me, there are more
benefits to being single than being taken when February 14th comes
around the corner and here are a few reasons why:

What I Have to Do:
Spend a Lot of Money

One of the reasons why being single on Valentine’s Day sucks
is because you don’t get a Valentine’s Day present. No chocolate, no flowers,
no crummy little bad-tasting candy hearts, nothing. But the thought of giving someone a Valentine’s Day present
almost never crosses anyone’s mind. Every significant other expects a certain
level of awesomeness to impress
them on the special day, which requires a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a
lot of money. Dinner for two? $50. Flowers? $25. Some sort of other extravagant
gesture/gift? At least another $50 for it all to work out. Boom, there goes the
last two weeks’ paycheck. So if you’re whining that you’ve got no one to give
you a Valentine to, don’t. Be happy that you’re going to be able to eat

What You Get To Do:
Not Actually Give a Crap

The best part about being single on Valentine’s Day is that
you really don’t have to pay it any mind if you don’t want to. Sure, there are
hearts and Cupids and stuff put up all over grocery stores, but it’s not like
Christmas. School don’t shut down for it, there aren’t songs playing on the
radio all about it, so in a way it can easily be ignored. And it can. Easily.
Valentine’s Day only is important if you make it important, if you don’t, then
it’s just a regular old Tuesday. Believe me, that’s all I would like it to be
for me too. But nuh-huh, for me, I’m saying goodbye to $125.

What I Have to Do:
Play the “Maybe I’ll Get Some” Game

This isn’t thatdifferent
for me than any other weeknight, but Valentine’s Day does have some connotation
with it that lovely bedtimes will occur. But just because that’s what’s
expected doesn’t mean that that’s what’ll happen. If that dinner/presents/gesture/I-lost-all-my-money
doesn’t go well then I’ve already struck out even before I got to the batter’s
box. I know it’s not the greatest thought, but at least you single folks know
that it’s not gonna be a lucky night so you’re not prone to disappointment. And
then if you do score, it’s a thousand times better because it’s so unexpected.
That game sounds so much more appealing than mine.

What You Get to Do: Have a Crazy Singles Night

If you’re going to give acknowledgment to Valentine’s Day,
then the best way for you to do it is to go out with all your other single
friends and get totally smashed and make fun of all those people who take the
day seriously and are so gross looking as they canoodle because it is really

I would so much rather do that than a candlelight dinner and
hoping to get lucky.

In the end, the bottom line is that there are pluses and
minuses to whatever you relationship status is. So it doesn’t just suck being
single on Valentine’s Day, there’s plenty things that I’m going to have to go
through tomorrow night that you shouldn’t be jealous of. Sheesh.