The Nominees for the 8th Academy Awards have been
announced. For the most part, the nominations were well deserved. There is,
however, a group of people who are not content with the list of nominees this
year.
The group argues that there are many movies that were
ignored and did not get the proper nominations from the Academy. The leader of
this group, Jamie Gilbert, started the riots because of his anger against the
academy for once again not nominating Harry Potter for best motion picture.
“I’ve only ever seen the movies, but they’re just so much better than movies
like The Help and War Horse,” says Gilbert. He claims that empirically, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 has more to offer viewers than
any “stupid movie about baseball or staying up really late in Paris.”
Dozens of Gilbert’s supporters rallied under lamp posts on
street corners and right outside of a Starbucks. Rioters were seen holding up signs reading
“Jack and Jill or We Will Kill”, “Accio Oscar”, and “No Ice Cream, No Peace”.
Upon catching sight of these picket signs, 8 year old Gabby Rosen joined the
fight. Rosen declares that “The Muppets should win every award ever.”
The Academy has taken notice of the rioters. They released a
statement saying “There is literally, without a doubt, nothing these people can
do to change our minds.” After hearing this, Jamie Gilbert kicked into
Braveheart mode and screamed, “they can take our lives, but they can never take
our freedom!” Most people dispersed after that, but Gilbert has decided to keep
on fighting until the Oscars air on February 26th.
