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Three reasons moving out of a dorm makes you want to rip apart the student body
1) For all you Resident Advisors, I’ve been there. I get it. You have to close this campus down and invariably there will be some asshole who doesn’t want to leave the dorm by 6pm Sunday afternoon which means you won’t get out of here until long after your sanity and patience have skidaddled. More... MORE »
Make Some April Fools!
It’s that day again, dear readers. It is a day of enlightenment, for us all to share in new beliefs. Today, gullible is written on the ceiling, genetically-engineered winged pigs have escaped their containment tanks, and HBO canceled Game of Thrones on a whim at 12:00 AM. Really! Anyone with half a brain can become... MORE »
Your Crazy Weekend (Edited For Your Parents)
This weekend was insane. [In that it was pleasant, productive, and not insane.] I was PLANNING to work on my lab report and study for a test Monday [just like every weekend]. It all started when Michelle’s “mellow” birthday Friday turned out to be a trip to a [study group]!! It was fun... MORE »
Combining Halloween Weekend and Parents Weekend was a great idea
When it became incredibly clear that USC was going to make this year’s Parents Weekend and Halloween Weekend one in the same, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we were all pretty excited by that idea. The scantily clad antics typical to Halloween would undoubtedly be that much more... MORE »
Overprotective Freshman Mom Refuses to Let Son Take Off Parka
Cyndi Talman of Norfolk, VA has an 18 year-old son who just began his Freshman year at Syracuse. However, her son, Bobby, is not like other freshmen. Is Bobby Talman extraordinarily tall, or fast, or intelligent? No. Bobby Talman wears a fur parka at all times. Often mistaken for a bear, and already captured twice on various... MORE »
When Parents Come Abroad
There are obvious reasons as to why having your parents come visit you abroad is the greatest. First being the endless amounts of money since as we all know the only people who can afford go abroad are rich white Jews anyway. But it is nice to have the tedious task of carrying ones wallet... MORE »
Freshman Girl to Parents: “Go Home Already!”
Standing just outside the Schine Student Center, freshman Bridget Chu had had enough. Enough of the questions. Enough of the concern. Enough of her parents. Her voice echoed all the way through the quad as, at the top of her lungs, she shouted, “Would you leave already?!” Shoutatus is a typical disease of... MORE »