Alex Rosenthal
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Alex Rosenthal

I'm Campus Basement's Director of Community Management. I enjoy long walks on the dinner and candlelit beaches. Send me feedback, ideas, suggestions, or cute puppy pictures at
November 22, 2012

Walmart to Institute Hunger Games-Style Death Matches for Black Friday 2012

In an effort to ensure that this year’s shopper-on-shopper violence occurs in a more organized and entertaining fashion, Walmart has instituted new Hunger Games-style death matches for its customers on Black Friday 2012. Based on the popular dystopian novels in which a tyrannical government forces children to fight to the death in special televised events,... MORE »

November 6, 2012

Local Uninformed Idiot Guilted Into Voting By Facebook Friends

Election Day: Local dimwit John Thurpwood was guilt-tripped by his Facebook friends into visiting his designated polling place and voting in the US presidential election today, despite not knowing anything about the candidates or their positions on various political issues. “I wasn’t really going to vote since I’m not into politics and I didn’t watch... MORE »

October 29, 2012

Area Man Already Ate Entire Supply of Snacks Collected for Hurricane Sandy

10/29/12, 2:47pm – Brooklyn resident Gordon Dumpkin finished a family size carton of Utz Party Mix, half a box of White Cheddar Cheez-Its, a 6-pack of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, 2 fun-size cans of Sour Cream ‘n Onion Pringles, a pepperoni pizza Hot Pocket, some Skittles, and a banana. MORE »

October 23, 2012

Obama and Romney Agree to Disagree, Cancel Final Debate

US presidential candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney have mutually decided to cancel the final televised debate tonight, citing the fact that no matter how much they argue back and forth, there’s really nothing they can say at this point that will change each other’s or viewers’ minds and they should probably just go ahead... MORE »

September 25, 2012

Quinnterviews: Awkward Questions to Ask Potential Roommates

Quinnterviews is a new segment from mtvU covering all of your favorite college-related topics, from finding a roommate to finding true love (preferably not both at once). Sit back and enjoy as Emerson senior Quinn Marcus asks unsuspecting strangers some hilarious and occasionally uncomfortable questions about what to look for in a roommate. Get More:... MORE »

September 17, 2012

Homeless Man Sleeping Outside Apple Store Presumed To Be In Line For iPhone 5

Local homeless man Garvis Cocktooth recently became something of a media sensation after being crowned by news outlets as “the first person in line for the iPhone 5.” Cocktooth, who has been living on a pile of unfolded Domino’s Pizza boxes outside the Apple Store for the past three years, is completely dumbfounded by his... MORE »

July 28, 2012

All Olympic Competitors to Receive Medals After Complaints From Parents

Following a flurry of angry calls and emails from parents of Olympic athletes, the International Olympic Committee has discontinued the 118-year tradition of only awarding the top three competitors of each event with gold, silver, and bronze medals. As of Friday, all London 2012 Olympians will automatically be given a gold medal just for participating... MORE »

July 9, 2012

Upbeat Pop Song About Partying is a Huge Hit With Young People

BREAKING: A song centralized around partying, drinking alcoholic beverages, and generally having a good time has proven to be a massive chart-topping pop hit this week. The catchy tune was written and sung by a popular artist who has already had at least one or two Top 40 hits covering similar subject matter. The new... MORE »

May 28, 2012

Apple Unveils New 60-Inch Touchscreen Television

At a press conference last Friday, Apple CEO Tim Cook revealed what could be a game-changing new product in the TV marketplace. You’ve seen touchscreen phones and tablets, but Apple is looking to be the first consumer electronics company to release a touchscreen television set. “If there’s one thing we’ve learned from iPods, iPhones, and... MORE »