Last week, the Mega Millions jackpot hit a record high, reaching $640 million. Over the weekend, it appeared that the pot would be split between three winners from across the country. Few rejoiced and millions were left saddened that they went home empty-handed for the thousandth time.
However, it was recently uncovered that there was in fact only one winner and the other three were declared “winners” as part of a cruel April Fool’s hoax. In fact, the actual winner of the monstrous prize was multibillionaire and Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg.
“The best part,” Zuckerberg said while fighting back laughter. “Was that I used the money I won in the lottery to pay the committee to tell those losers they had won the lottery. I normally don’t play. Actually, this was my first time ever buying a ticket. This is kind of fun.”
Since the news broke, two of the three alleged “winners” have been found dead in their homes, while the third was last seen stalking Facebook headquarters.
“Obviously, I don’t need the money, I’m filthy rich,” Zuckerberg added. “But I was running low on toilet paper. Originally, I was going to send the rest of the cash to charity, but then I looked at my calendar and couldn’t resist.”
Originally, speculation arose as to whether or not it was ethical for the Mega Millions committee to accept the prank bribe, but upon further investigation, it was determined that society was already dumb enough for throwing $640 million into a game they almost certainly would not win.
“We believe that all in all, Mr. Zuckerberg was not in the wrong for not only participating in the drawing, nor using the money to prank three lower class Americans,” one Chairman said. “Obviously the lives lost in its wake are tragic.”
After Grammy award-winning film The Social Network portrayed Zuckerberg as “kind of a douche,” this prank has indeed confirmed that Zuckerberg is in fact a douche.
