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tagged freshman »
Newhouse Freshman self-nominates COM 117 project for an Academy Award
Multimedia Storytelling (COM 117) is a required course for every Newhouse student. Freshman Jessica Serkiss took the class extremely seriously. Serkiss and her group received an A- for their 2 minute non-fiction film about Syracuse’s weird weather entitled “Where’s the Sunshine?”. Serkiss’s first thought upon seeing her grade was, “I totally deserved an A+, this... MORE »
Freshman Buys Enough Underwear to Last Until Spring Break
Brewster Hall was in a state of emergency yesterday when undeclared freshman Bobby Hughes was rushed to BJ’s Wholesale Club for underwear. The native of Outsideofphilly, PA somehow never learned how to do laundry. Floormates believe it was the consequence of having a girlfriend still in high school. Last semester, Hughes went home twice before... MORE »
College Freshman Meme Kid Graduates; Still Naive and Full of Optimism
If you’ve been following your college’s “Memes” page on Facebook, you’re probably familiar with UNH student Griffin Kiritsy, whose fresh-faced, pathetically earnest smile is the butt of the popular College Freshman meme joke. To put it into non-internet nerd language: college students use his photo as a template to share brief, humorous anecdotes about things... MORE »
New Fraternity Pledge Shocked to Realize Brothers Lied to Him During Rush
Now that Syracuse University’s IFC spring rush period has finally come to an end, aspiring Greeks around campus have officially made the coveted transition from GDIs to worthless maggot pledges, prepared for the toughest physical and mental challenge of their college careers. Delta Theta pledge Marc Nason, however, was caught off guard to learn that... MORE »
Freshman Steps on ‘M,’ Disintegrates
Unless you are an idiot, foreign, or go to Ohio, or some combination of the three, you know that stepping on the “M’ before your first bluebook results in failing said test at UofM. The brass, block-letter “M’, donated by the class of ’53, has scared off more kids than (insert pedophile). Activists have set... MORE »
Freshman Sees Nipple, Urges DPS to Expand Crime Alerts
Despite a relaxing day at Manhattan Beach and two trips to Yogurtland, last weekend was tough for freshman Leslie Boudreaux. Between slurps of her Ground Zero milkshake (Everything But the Girl Scout, a solid, if not metaphorical choice), Leslie tells her story. “I was behind Leavey, on my way back from the Lyon Center when... MORE »
4.0 GPA Totally Compensates for Sex-less Semester, Rationalizes Freshman
Upon checking his course grades on student center, freshman Phineas Plottman expressed tempered joy and mild exuberance over the fact that his semester spent not fornicating with members of the opposite sex, culminated in a 4.0 GPA. “Oh my gosh, this feeling is so amazing,” said Plottman meekly, “definitely more satisfying than repeatedly thrusting my... MORE »
HWD 101: How Hollywood Tries to Prepare You for College
Before coming to college, every future student loads up on movies about college life. Right now, as more and more 12th graders are getting their early decision college acceptance letters, they are stocking up on movies about becoming the king on campus in their freshman year. Well, they’re all going to get a huge wake... MORE »
Stripping Your Way Across Cornell: A Cornell Basement Guide Around Campus
Click it and zoom…..zoom, zoom, zoom. MORE »