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The federal government declared a Communications major west of campus an official disaster area on Thursday, following weeks of destructive behavior and dangerous top speeds of around six shots/hour. In typical fashion, FEMA was slow to respond and residents in her vicinity suffered for it. After two freshman fraternity pledges were evacuated from the area,... MORE »
Some called it “turtling,” “flipping,” “burritoing,” or “nuggeting,” but many remember the high school gag of taking someone’s backpack, removing the contents, turning it inside out and putting everything back in. Masters of the craft could steal a backpack in the middle of class and reverse it so quietly that the victim knew nothing until... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! 1. Cover the room in sand and bring in a new roommate. Tell them they’ve been voted off the island. 2. Set up a live studio... MORE »
Chloe ““ I’ve noticed you haven’t chipped in for paper towels or dish soap or anything since Joe adopted you and you moved in six weeks ago. It was pretty nice of us to just let you move in halfway through a lease and give you that spot in the kitchen where I used to... MORE »
Start every day off with a hot coffee and a showing of “The Human Centipede” on your shared TV. Refuse to wear headphones and make sure you’re in all 8am classes. Find out when his/her class discussions are. Go to them and drunkenly make fun of him/her when he/she starts to talk. Phrases like “you... MORE »
Ok, so you’re in your dorm. You’ve met your roommate, and you’ve decided one of three things: 1) this is going to be my best friend for life, 2) I could see hanging out with him/her a few times, or 3) I am going to suffocate this person with my pillow as soon as my... MORE »