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How to Seduce the Elderly
Finding a companion is hard these days. If you’re like me, you probably feel like you’ve tried everything. Holding the door for her, walking her home, watching her undress from outside her bedroom window. You know, romance. But sometimes chivalry isn’t enough, gents. Nowadays, women care about ridiculous qualities like, “Will my parents like him?”... MORE »
Plattsburgh’s Famous Alumni
Every university has their claim to fame graduate, an alumni that has put their college on the map. Sure Ivy League schools like Harvard, Yale and Princeton have prestigious graduates who have occupied the office of the presidency, drafted prolific literature and genuinely shaped the world in which we live. Yet how many of those... MORE »
An Alumni Computer Screen During A Syracuse Basketball Game
And, I quote my friend Kaitlin “Having double computer screens is essential on game days..” MORE »
Cornell Holds 80th Class Reunion
It truly was an incredible event. At the Cornell Club on June 9th the University held a reunion for the 1931 Graduating Class called the “Spirit of ’31.” Two alumna were honored at the event. Laible Tallmadge and Rosemary Hunt Todd of the class of 1931. Although 28 others are still alive they were unable... MORE »
Year Ending; Seniors Refuse to Leave
Forget freshmen overcrowding causing an SU housing crisis; we have bigger problems on our hands. Syracuse University’s senior class has made a collective decision to stay at Syracuse as long as they can. “At first I was all excited to leave..and by at first, I mean when I was like a sophomore. But then I realized... MORE »
Things I Wish I Knew Before I Came to College: Cornell Days Edition
Today marked the end of my favorite time of the year (no, not steak and a blowjob day): Cornell Days. And as I found myself pulling overenthusiastic completely bullshit lies out of my ass to please the shining new faces of the Class of 2015 and their parents, I thought, “fuck, I’m old.” I also... MORE »
Report: You Will Never Get a Job
It’s almost April, meaning that many students will be graduating in a mere month, attempting to enter the real world filled with real 7:00 wake-ups, real coffee breaks and real sexual harassment lawsuits. Unfortunately, you will never get to experience the joys of hearing that “Not Guilty” verdict because, according to a recent study, you... MORE »
SU Alumni Author Will Tell You How To Fail!
Forget those self-help guides, Aaron Goldfarb wants to tell you how to epically fail. Aaron is an SU alum, class of 2001, and he’s coming back to ‘Cuse this weekend with his satirical novel about misadventures, misgivings, and massive mistakes. With hilarious chapters such as How to Fail to Make Your Parents Proud of You,... MORE »
Week in Review
Senior vice president and dean of student affairs Thomas Wolfe sent out an e-mail to Syracuse University students this week reminding them to be sensitive, thoughtful and respectful in choosing Halloween costumes. He added that sexy nurses could offend those in the medical field, sexy pirates could be insensitive to terrorists on the coast of... MORE »