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Tuition Translator
It’s getting to be that wonderful time of the year. Flowers are blooming. Finals aren’t quite here yet. And Rick Santorum is beginning to show his true colors (or hatred for people thereof). Ah, spring time. And of course, with spring comes a dreaded time for high school seniors, anxiously awaiting notice from a university... MORE »
Student Looking for Roommates Doesn’t Realize Nobody Wants to Live With Him
Student housing sucks, plain and simple. The one good thing about student housing is getting out of it and living with your buddies. Or, you know, that random family who doesn’t check their basement or attic enough to notice you living there… The only way to get a decent place to live, whether through the... MORE »
Student Wins 300 Million Dorms in Housing Lottery Gaffe
In a freak accident caused by a long-overlooked accounting error, Shana Piznik “14 was awarded 300 million dorms in the housing lottery this Friday. Most students at Brandeis receive only one housing designation. The mix-up has been traced to a clerical error made by Department of Community Living accountant Harry Loewenthal “53, before he went... MORE »
Coma Patient Enraged That Friends Already Have Housing
CB reporters had to provide a steady supply of Kleenex as emotion, tears and tear-snot poured out of sophomore Nick Cataton early this afternoon. “Franklin turned to me with this look like he’d forgotten to grab his laundry out of the dryer. “Oh, uh, we already got housing.’ I mean, is that all I am... MORE »
LOCAL NONSTUDENT COLUMN: Why Can’t It Be Quiet at 11PM on Saturdays?
Hello! I live two blocks off campus, I’m not a student and I call the LAPD about your noise more often than I talk to any actual people. You may be thinking, “Aw, man! What gives?” and I’d like the chance to explain! It may not be clear why I need weeknight quiet to my... MORE »
Finding Housing in Ithaca Ruins Student’s Lives
The only place where the real estate market never feels the economic troubles of the country is Collegetown, Ithaca NY. I am pretty sure this has something to do with economics…supply and demand I assume. But, don’t quote me on that. There are many issues though that come with the real estate market in Ithaca.... MORE »
I’m A Cool RA…Really
Syracuse sophomore Jenny Greene thought that her Watson Hall suite experience would be a total party, free of pesky RAs. “Well, I just figured I’m like not a freshman anymore and that the RAs in Watson wouldn’t be like half as bad as the ones in Flint. Ya know?” Unfortunately for Jenny, she was assigned... MORE »
Landlords compete for students’ leases, affection
It’s everyone’s favorite season again – lease-signing season! Millions were riveted as Lauren, Lauryn, and Laurrinn chose property owner Sanjit Singh as their future landlord from the final three in Flavor of Lease‘s unprecedentedly-entertaining finale. “People threw around words like ‘boring’ or ‘uncalled for’ when I pitched a USC-based show about the landlord selection process,”... MORE »
New apartment complexes to house Gateway overflow
Two new apartment complexes are in the midst of construction on Figueroa Street to accommodate University Gateway’s student overflow. The new structures — one at Figueroa and 27th aptly named West 27th Place, and the other, an as-yet-unnamed complex just north of the Vagabond Motel — aim to address the profound demand for overpriced student... MORE »