1. Make a drinking game out of your floor meetings. 1 sip every time the phrase ‘campus community’ is used. 2 sips and high fives all around for the word ‘respect.’
2. Keep fish in your room. Play a recording of dogs barking loudly whenever you know your R.A. is in the hallway. If he/she comes in to see if you have an animal in your room, apologize profusely and promise that you’ll take them for a walk as soon as you finish your Econ homework.
3. Put the input/analog channel on in the dorm lounge. Throw a fit if anyone tries to change it and insist that ‘I was watching that!’
4. Buy a giant picture frame and stand behind it, blocking his/her door. Say “I’m sorry but you must know the password in order to enter the Gryffindor common room.” whenever they try to enter. Frequently change the password.
5. Wait until you’re certain he/she has a significant other or small party in their room and stick a ‘free pizza, come in!’ sign on his/her door.
6. Turn your door ornament into something profane.
7. Tear down the floor bulletin board and cover it completely in pictures of Nicholas Cage. Do this as often as needed until it stays. Tell friends from other floors/dorms that your RA is really weird and that last month it was all Bill Murray.
8. Ask him/her if they have any raw steaks you could cook on your hotplate. Offer to give them a bite.
9. Scream and use the fire extinguisher the next time someone lights a cigarette outside. When your RA freaks out, feign disbelief and maintain that there is ‘no safe amount of fire.’
10. Turn the storage/trash/utility closet into a shrine to Arnold from “Hey Arnold!” Gum statue included.
