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Splattsburghian

January 11, 2012

Creature Mode

The equation is simple: alcohol + person = drunk person. (Note: contrary to what my MAT285 teacher instructed, it does not equal alcoholperson or personalcohol. And yes, simple word-based addition is part of the 200 level math curriculum at PSU.). The variable in the equation is, of course, alcohol, which some people can drink a... MORE »

January 3, 2012

Plattsburgh’s Famous Alumni

Every university has their claim to fame graduate, an alumni that has put their college on the map. Sure Ivy League schools like Harvard, Yale and Princeton have prestigious graduates who have occupied the office of the presidency, drafted prolific literature and genuinely shaped the world in which we live. Yet how many of those... MORE »

January 3, 2012

Fittness Major Nicknamed “Lil’ Boy” Tries to Write Satire Article

Note: The Editor and Head Writer of the Plattsburgh Campus Basement has received an anonymous article written by a PSU fitness major who would only allow himself to be identified as “Lil’ Boy”. The article seemed comedic (due to its sheer ignorance) so I thought it was worth publishing. However it is important to remember... MORE »

December 27, 2011

The 7 Week Staycation

As the SUNY Plattsburgh campus became progressively muddier (apparently snowfall decided to skip us completely, due thankfully to global warming) we took strides towards our lengthy winter vacation. When searching for fallback schools, in case we weren’t accepted into our first choice at the local community college, it was important to rate the plusses and... MORE »

December 21, 2011

The 4 a.m. Knock

The night has ended, all the parties are busted and the kegs are kicked. The boys and girls trying to “get it in” have paired up and began the stumbling journey back to the dorms to make bad decisions with people they’d never tell their friends about. If you were one of those final partiers,... MORE »