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There are several ways to tell the difference between a guy and a girl: length of hair, ability to drive a car, absence of a penis, etc. But one surefire way to shout your gender from a mountaintop is what you post on your dorm room wall. Your dorm room says a hell of a... MORE »
As it turns out, Snooki is not the main character of the film, “A Clockwork Orange.” But she’s been as controversial. Known for her binge drinking and slurred speech, Snooki appears to be more pregnant than usual these days. The question on everyone’s mind is, who’s her baby-daddy? I’m here to tell you all that... MORE »
Hofstra’s not-so-New Academic building will give anyone an architectural boner. It’s sleek, sexy, and streamlined to perfection. But don’t let its clever name fool you, it has been confirmed that the building is actually a fully functional spacecraft built by NASA. That’s right, NASA. Shit just got serious. The New Academic building or, NAB, for... MORE »
It’s been quite a week here at Hofstra: the weather’s been beautiful, professors have been absent, and I can’t think of a third clause. But for some, there have been better weeks. Fred No-go, a fictitious yet lovable Hofstra freshman, was stuck in the library elevator for 5 hours on Sunday night. Here’s what he... MORE »
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. The men’s basketball team played a game this past Saturday against Northeastern that was also especially heinous. Here is every thought that crossed my mind throughout the game: > How intensely do I have to cheer when we score? I guess I’ll just... MORE »
Finding a companion is hard these days. If you’re like me, you probably feel like you’ve tried everything. Holding the door for her, walking her home, watching her undress from outside her bedroom window. You know, romance. But sometimes chivalry isn’t enough, gents. Nowadays, women care about ridiculous qualities like, “Will my parents like him?”... MORE »
Being a commuter can be tough. Whether you’ve decided to live at home to save money or because you couldn’t part with your stuffed animals, the commuter gene is a part of your DNA. Commuters like to keep to themselves, and so they rarely disclose that they live at home. The only way to tell... MORE »