Hello Syracuse students and parents!

I am so excited to be here on this beautiful day in Syracuse, New York! My name is Jamie Dimon, and I am the CEO of JP Morgan Chase.

I thought I would jump start this speech by sharing my interesting journey towards becoming the Syracuse commencement-speaker.

Before I was asked to speak here, I received a call from The Syracuse Commencement-Speaker Selection Committee. They said they were looking for an outstanding speaker who would be extraordinarily relatable to the college crowd. I told them, “Look no further! I am the CEO of a bank!”

Both the Committee and I agreed that college students like money, so naturally I would be the best pick. They told me they had outlandish speakers such as President Obama, Steve Jobs, Jon Stewart, and even Jay-Z all lined up, but they felt these people couldn’t relate as well as I could.

I have a 12 year old daughter, so I know what’s hip, what’s cool, and all about beanie babies, iPods, and the Youtube. Hence, I am here today – with some great information on life lessons and our financial statements for the 3rd quarter of our fiscal year.

Many people ask me, “Jamie, how did you get so far coming from so little?” I tell them its all about your education. By attending great schools, like Harvard and Yale, I scored a job with a six-figure salary easily.

Without my strong Ivy-League education, I don’t think I would have made it this far at all.

As matriculating students, you should know that upon graduation, you will likely be broke and without a job. That’s okay, because we currently have outstanding credit cards for college grads! With only 40% ongoing APR and a $200 monthly fee, you will fit in comfortably with the rest of the United States in the tail-end of this financial crisis.

In sum, I want you all to think real hard about where you will be in 20 years. What job do you want to have? How much will you earn? Now, subtract around $20,000 for those of you who have absolutely no job offers next year. For those of you lucky to have a job next year, remember, we manufacture a financial crisis every 30 years, so get ready to lose big time!