For the third consecutive season, the University of Missouri softball team blew past the Kansas City Royals, this time by a 9-2 margin. The game was held at Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium, where a makeshift outfield wall was constructed to bring the distance down from 415 ft. to 225 ft. in order to accommodate the general lack of power on both sides, exponentially increasing the chances of either side actually hitting a homerun.

There was concern that members of the Royals might not take the game seriously because they were playing girls, but after two previous losses, it was painfully obvious that the Royals were going all out.

“I wish I could say we took it easy on them,” Kansas City’s left fielder Alex Gordon said. “I really do. I honestly don’t really know what else to say. God we are terrible.”

Plenty of eyebrows were raised when the series was announced three years ago, given the fact that neither team plays the same sport. But after three consecutive victories for the ladies, the fans have seen that they are relatively evenly matched. Missouri had a no-hitter through 7 innings before they were politely asked to toss the ball overhand by the Royals.

“We played lights out today, but my favorite part was seeing all of the fans at the game,” senior Ashley Fleming said. “Normally we get between 50-80 fans at our home games, but here there were easily 100.”

The win was key for the nationally ranked Tigers who advanced to 7-3 on the season. Meanwhile, the Royals got a head start on the Baltimore Orioles for the worst record in baseball, falling to 0-1 during their home opener.

“I felt really, really bad for some of those guys,” sophomore Brianna Corwin said. “A few of them were crying afterwards, and we could tell that [the Royals] were really heartbroken. I think we’ll send them a gift basket and a get well soon card.”

Prior to the opening pitch, there was a minor discrepancy over the size of the balls that should be used. Originally, the game was going to be played with softballs to compensate for the minimal skill differential between the two teams. However, the Royals’ clubhouse threw a bit of a tantrum and the game was ultimately played with regulation-sized baseballs. Mizzou quipped that the Royals should probably start by growing a pair of their own.