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Jake’s Movie Monday: LSD, the Legging Skin Disorder
Video by
JakeWallach
February 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm
A Trend Gone Terribly Wrong
Alpha Sigma Sigma Builds Coat Room, Becomes Top Frat on Campus
In a recent poll conducted by the MU Greek System, Alpha Sigma Sigma, Mizzou’s formerly lowest-ranked fraternity by female students, has recently been rated “Top House on Campus.” Though experts are citing a number of reasons for the rankings upset, female students asked about their sudden change in heart towards the fraternity, nearly all mentioned... MORE »
Top Ten Looks For Winter: They’re All Leggings and Boots
1.) Leggings with boots- A quick, comfy way to bundle up for winter is to find a pair of basic leggings and throw on a pair of your cutest boots. This look is so popular right now you won’t be able to turn the corner without finding someone who looks just as cute as you... MORE »
How To: Deliver a Speech at Speaker’s Circle
“Speaker’s Circle” is a Mizzou staple. The acoustically tuned circle of brick is frequented primarily by the lion hearted faithful who preach the word of God (read: word of whoever happens to be talking) to an entertained, if critical, student audience. To be clear, many people enjoy their faith in a healthy, positive way. In fact, most people enjoy... MORE »
Stuff Your Sins In a Cup
Feeling guilty about defacing campus property during your night of binge drinking? Concerned someone may find out about the fire alarm you pulled at 4 AM following another round of Keystone Light and Captain Morgan? Or are you paranoid your RA can smell the pot seeping from your room? Stuff your sins in a cup!... MORE »
Creepy Craigslist Ad of the Week: The Reason Rally
I don’t know what this “Reason Rally” is, but apparently it’s a big party for atheists who enjoy spreading their words of wisdom…and…well, eating babies. MORE »
Girl Gets Drunk, Cries About Nothing
MU student Sarah Stark was found on the back deck of AΣΣ’s house last Thursday, bawling her eyes out for no apparent reason. “One second I see her up on the table dancing with a guy I’m almost certain she’s never met, and the next second she’s falling all over me sobbing, ‘I wanna go... MORE »
MU Basketball Players Actually Monstars
Columbia, Missouri- Scandal and college sports, it would seem, go hand in hand. During a routine pre-season blood test, the blood work of five members of the MU men’s basketball team came back clear of all substances. As if this fact wasn’t shocking enough on its own, it was uncovered that the five, all freshmen... MORE »
Cosmopolitan and Esquire Purchase MOVE Magazine
In a surprising move that also shocked no one, The Hearst Corporation, owner of both Cosmopolitan and Esquire, has acquired The Maneater’s very own MOVE Magazine. “I frequently write about when and how I’m getting laid and when I’m not, both in vast detail,” MOVE writer Samantha Jensen said. “Then I was offered a job... MORE »
Image macro posted to Facebook definitively (proves/disproves) existence of God
At 10:03 PM Eastern Time last night, freshman Logan Nogouche posted an image macro (picture with overlaid-text) to the popular social networking site MySpace that once and for all ended the existence of God debate. The particular image was simply a picture of (Jesus/Richard Dawkins) with an overlaid (Bible verse/Richard Dawkins quote). However,... MORE »
“Safety Dance” Outlawed; Second Civil War Ends
Chaos. Bloodshed. Annihiliation. 1983–the beginning of the most violent and horrific outbreak of violence in Columbia since the Civil War. Fast forward 29 years–the day it ended. Families of the victims won’t be seen parading around Columbia. Shattered CD cases can be seen strewn all over downtown. (henceforth referred to as, “The District”). Unbeknownst to... MORE »
Sorority Girl Stunned After Not Being Nominated for Academy Award For Homecoming Skit
A University of Missouri student and member of the Delta Kappa Rho sorority was shocked yesterday when she was not nominated for an Academy Award. Julie Anne Drew starred in “Sonata de Truman,” the 1790s-themed production of Delta Kappa Rho, Alpha Sigma Sigma, and Rho Rho Rho. Drew procrastinated her hospitality management homework... MORE »
The Biggest Bullshitter: Gargoyles
You gasp for air for a couple seconds, and than he puts you right back in. The toilet water smells like a combination of asparagus piss and sparrow semen. Although, you’re not even that mad about it, and you know why? The man that is shoving your frail head into the toilet, Bobby the Gargoyle.... MORE »
Jake’s Movie Monday: Twittervention
It’s a problem MORE »
Jake’s Movie Monday: Mizzou Basement Promo
Promo within a promo within a promo MORE »
Jake’s Movie Monday: Stop Ice Cream Homicide
An epidemic that is plaguing Plaza 900 goers MORE »
Jake’s Movie Monday: GDI Life
A tale of a God Damn Independent. MORE »
Jake’s Movie Monday: On My Birthday
Nobody wants to do anything on their birthday. MORE »
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