You gasp for air for a couple seconds, and than he puts you right back in. The toilet water smells like a combination of asparagus piss and sparrow semen. Although, you’re not even that mad about it, and you know why? The man that is shoving your frail head into the toilet, Bobby the Gargoyle.
Bobby is pretty much teen wolf, but not as hairy, and isn’t a pussy. He gets invited to every party, and always shows up stag. You can’t hold Bobby down! Are you bitches crazy? When it turns dark, even if he’s got multiple bitties waiting for him, he’s got bigger and better things to do. With his eagle-like wings Bobby valiantly flies to the tallest building in town, and perches there like a champ.
Not only does it take immense concentration, but also he has to hoard off evil spirits while being a statue! Have you ever done anything while you were a statue!? I thought not!
Did you ever have a childhood? Then you would know Bobby’s family has their own television show. That’s right, it’s reality television, and not a cartoon. They didn’t know how to name it, because nothing could be as good as Gargoyles. Even the girls in that show have six-packs.
Gargoyles don’t text, they’re carrier pigeons on steroids. When you’re texting you’re girlfriend in Colorado pictures of your dick, Bobby flies right over, and doesn’t just stand outside her window with a boom box. Bobby eats boom boxes for breakfast, which is terrible for his digestion.
Bobby plays hard to get with the ladies; literally he’s a statue. He knows more about architecture than Joseph Gordon-Levitt in (500) Days of Summer, and it’s not because it’s a quirky hobby, he lives on a building!
Numerous times a day people come up to Bobby, and proclaim he’s a piece of art. Could it be his solid washboard abs, his stone cold stare, or his HUGE wingspan? Oh, and he has a huge dick…
In conclusion, if Bobby decides he wants to shove your head in the toilet, you don’t question it. Your own mother would probably side with Bobby. When you’re sleeping, just think Bobby is watching over you, and keeping those evil spirits away with a stone cold body, but a warm heart.
