tagged sad »

Article by Cailin Lowry
February 22, 2012

USC Ruins Movies, Devastates Writer

USC has ruined movies* for me. Despite being a film major, it wasn’t the School of Cinematic Arts that destroyed the mirage Hollywood created in my pre-college days. Instead, I hold Bovard, Trousdale, Doheny, and VKC accountable. Hell, even Taper and GFS had a hand in killing the magic of movies. I present to you... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
November 8, 2011

New safety mascot Kurt SC maimed in terrible biking accident

“That was fast,” recent safety mascot hire Kurt SC mumbles from his hospital bed. He picks forlornly at the sheets. “My campaign had been going for, what, two weeks?” Kurt woke up from a five day coma this afternoon, and he says his short run as campus preventative safety darling is over. He briefly considered... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
November 2, 2011

Singer’s unimpressive WRIT340 grade dooms her music career

“Some misguided souls believe college letter grades to be “unimportant,’” snorts Dr. Rawls, SC’s Chair of Academic Superfluition. “Nastier rumors include the sentiments that Writings 140 and 340 “aren’t worth the time’ and “aren’t necessary for certain professions.’” He shakes his head. “Kids. These. Days.”   Which is why the good Doctor doesn’t feel bad... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
October 11, 2011

Lonely seniors begin to outsource exhausted dating pools

Many seniors whose sex lives extend beyond movies where Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off (like me, someday) have found themselves running out of people to date. Potential partners in extensive hand-holding/enthusiastic hugging/other things I assume people do in relationships seem to be an endangered species.   “Everyone I could be interested in, I’ve either already been... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
September 25, 2011

Crimes they are a-changin’… Or ARE they?

Written by Leah Folta and Lia Woodward DPS robbery reports have upsurged unsettlingly this semester, and we here at CB have noticed (napping on our desks isn’t all we do, Mom). There seem to be more robberies at more unusual times of day, and students are being put in danger over ridiculously minor personal possessions. Getting mugged at 10 AM... MORE »

Syracuse »
Video by Anonymous
April 14, 2011

SUParties and MTV for MayFest 2011!

We Are Joe Spadafino, Zack Stanek, Juan De Los Llanos, and Emily Coon. Join Us at Alpha Chi Rho Fraternity (AKa Crow) The Sickest Frat On Campus, MTV! As Our Crow Frat Friends Throw The Craziest Party For Mayfest! Thanks to Danny! These Highlights Are Just Little Things Compared To What is in Store to... MORE »