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Article by hmerkt
February 1, 2013

Student Asks Question To Prove He Doesn’t Need To Do So

As the second week of the semester closes, the material being covered in classes is finally starting to touch outside the realm of common sense. As we roll into week three the girl getting over some weight issues who just got her fake ID will once again be easier than your classes, and all will... MORE »

Article by Kevin Cardoni
October 26, 2012

Halloween Costumes That Suck – And How to Make Them Awesome

Halloween weekend is finally here, and I couldn’t possibly be any more excited than I normally am to dress up like a fool and solicit goodies from strangers.  But not everyone takes this sacred holiday seriously, so here are a few quick examples of costume ideas that you should probably steer clear of for this... MORE »

Article by Jonfen
September 10, 2012

With Parents Away for Weekend, Fraternity Brothers Decide to Throw Party

On Saturday night, brothers of Phi Alpha Mu devised a scheme to throw a house party, while their parents spent the weekend at a resort in Cancun. Despite the parents’ numerous requests to “keep the house clean” and “not open the door for any strangers,” the Phi Alpha Mu brothers admitted over 200 guests into... MORE »

Article by Alex Rosenthal
July 9, 2012

Upbeat Pop Song About Partying is a Huge Hit With Young People

BREAKING: A song centralized around partying, drinking alcoholic beverages, and generally having a good time has proven to be a massive chart-topping pop hit this week. The catchy tune was written and sung by a popular artist who has already had at least one or two Top 40 hits covering similar subject matter. The new... MORE »

Article by maxmartinez
May 26, 2012

Skorton and Bloomberg to Host Party at Level B

With convocation finished, and students off with their families and friends enjoying the moment, it’s time for the big guys to have fun. Tonight, at Level B, President David J. Skorton and convocation speaker and New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg will be hosting an invite-only dance party. The party was not supposed to be... MORE »

Article by Kevin Cardoni
April 21, 2012

Student Stops Sleeping for Finals

Jason Mandelbaum, a freshman engineering student, knows the value of a good night’s sleep, or lack there of.  That’s because he is currently embarking on a marathon of sorts, albeit one that requires little training above knowing how to open a can of Red Bull. The life of an engineer in training is not an... MORE »

Article by hmerkt
April 9, 2012

“Expert’s Research” Reveals Key to Guaranteed Hookups

We’ve all had hook ups, (or at least now we’re all in agreement that I’m cool enough to have had them) but recent studies tell us these hookups commence for reasons outside of what conventional wisdom, and common sense, would have us believe. According to research conducted by young men all across the country, being... MORE »

Article by Roy Parker
April 9, 2012

Jesus Misses Easter, Too Hungover

    After 3 straight days of partying, Jesus Christ, 33, awoke yesterday on April 8 to realize something awful – he had missed Easter.   “I literally remember nothing about the past 3 days,” Jesus said to our crack-investigative team. “And then I woke up yesterday with the worst Dad-damn headache I’ve ever had... MORE »