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Article by carolineoreilly
February 6, 2013

Top Ten Pop Culture Predictions of 2013

1. Kim Kardashian gives birth on live television, baby Kimye eats its way out of Kim’s uterus Twilight-style. Kris Jenner promptly sells the newborn’s life rights to E!. 2. Anne Hathaway punches Best Actress winner Jessica Chastain at the Oscars: “I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR THIS.” 3. Leonardo DiCaprio decides to move to daytime television... MORE »

Article by natkirst
January 8, 2013

Cool College Guy Claims He’s Really Into Sports And Having Sex With Women

Last Thursday night Freshman Doyle Matheson admitted in conversation with a member of the opposite sex that he was “really into sports.” “Ladies love guys that are really into sports,” said Matheson, “which explains why I get it in on the regs.” As evidence of his love of sports, Matheson receives ESPN updates to his... MORE »

Article by carolineoreilly
December 28, 2012

The Story of Syllabus Week

Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »

Article by Chris Varney
October 18, 2012

Fraternity refuses to suspend uranium enrichment program despite sanctions

   Another round of negotiations fell through between the Tau Kappa Chi (TKX) Fraternity and the United Nations concerning TKX’s uranium enrichment program Wednesday. This most recent round of negotiations appears to be the last as neither side is willing to make concessions. The fraternity and the UN have been in talks since UN weapons... MORE »

Article by Becca Grumet
October 3, 2012

Come for the donuts, stay for the drunk people

You can get anything from fritters to bagels to breakfast sandwiches to ice cream to any kind of boba-related drink to cereal to cigarettes to vitamin water to iPhone cases to copies of your assignment due in an hour. MORE »

Article by Jonfen
September 10, 2012

With Parents Away for Weekend, Fraternity Brothers Decide to Throw Party

On Saturday night, brothers of Phi Alpha Mu devised a scheme to throw a house party, while their parents spent the weekend at a resort in Cancun. Despite the parents’ numerous requests to “keep the house clean” and “not open the door for any strangers,” the Phi Alpha Mu brothers admitted over 200 guests into... MORE »

Article by Kevin Cardoni
August 1, 2012

Badminton Suddenly Relevant Amid Olympic Scandal

The 2012 Olympics in London are in full swing.  I know that because absolutely NO ONE will stop talking about every single thing that happens across the pond.  Never in my life could I have imagined that people could possibly be captivated by archery or left breathless by a gymnast’s floor routine.  Apparently, it’s all... MORE »

Article by loganor
May 2, 2012

Kill, Fuck, Marry: Cheese. Slow Jamz Edition.

This week I have a lot of work. I am also creating the greatest article ever written for campus basement of all time in the history of the world ever. While you are waiting, please enjoy my KFM: C. Kthxbai. MORE »

Article by jillboard
April 26, 2012

Dating at Ramapo; The Guys’ Guide

Dating at Ramapo is the trickiest of trades. It’s the epicenter of sexual frustration. Most girls at Ramapo have considered going lesbian to avoid having to hook up with one more Ramabro, but we already discussed that in The Girls’ Guide to dating at Ramapo. Thus, it is only fair to emotionally scar the Ramababes as well.... MORE »