Most Annoying Status Updates

Article by Dan Kropa October 25, 2012

1) The Boyfriend Report John Smith is–thinking about his girlfriend CONSTANTLY!!! <3 Do you realize every time you put something like this on your wall, you make it that much harder for anyone to feel bad for you when the relationship ends two days later? 2) The Vague Expression of Passive Aggression John Smith is–Some... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
October 19, 2012

Undah Presshah – Inside Your Procrastinating Head

30 minutes until class:  Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Why didn’t I start this paper two days ago?! It’s so friggin’ easy and now I’m stressing out 30 minutes before I gotta sprint over there from the Village. Def not getting out of the sweatpants I slept in for this BS class. 29... MORE »

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Article by Jessica Kluge
October 17, 2012

False Fire Alarms More Frequent Due to Popular Demand

Every semester, each Ramapo dorm must take part in two mandatory fire drills.  Typically, these alarms are scheduled early on in the semester, in order to get them over with.  However, it appears that students are not happy with this low amount of drills.  Requests for more frequent alarms are overwhelming, and Ramapo is doing... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
October 15, 2012

Are Pumpkins More Delicious Or Deadly?

Mahwah, NJ – It has been 23 days since the beginning of Autumn. This means that every beverage, piece of clothing, and homework assignment on Ramapo’s Mahwah campus has the right to be pumpkin-related. However, the investigative team here at Ramapo Basement has uncovered the scary (like Halloween H20 scary) truth behind this yearly pumpkin... MORE »

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Article by Dan Kropa
October 12, 2012

Poodles: The Dark Truth Revealed

The name poodle is synonymous with flamboyant dog show excess to most. It conjures images of uber-groomed monstrosities, sporting bouffant and leg-warmer hybrids best left to rot in the 1980s. Poodles are a perfect breed for the persnickety. They come in three size categories and the owners can sculpt their shape as they desire. Poodles... MORE »

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Article by Jessica Kluge
October 10, 2012

Keeping Warm in Pseudo-Winter

 Here in Mahwah, there exists only two seasons: Summer and Winter. The long awaited “hoodie weather” never happens, and short sleeve shirts are immediately traded for super itchy sweaters that never fit just right.   As Summer phases out and Autwinter begins, you’re asking yourself why you picked a school that’s literally in the mountains.Every... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
October 5, 2012

New Apathetic College Service Offers Short-Term Pencil Rentals

MAHWAH, NJ—Announcing its plan to offer short-term, affordable pencil rentals for RoadRunners who don’t own pencils of their own, Apathetic College Inc. launched a brand-new pencil-sharing service earlier this Fall. According to company officials, Apathetic College’s inaugural inventory consists of 24 pencils for the whole campus, providing students with the option to rent pencils by... MORE »

Article by Jessica Kluge
October 3, 2012

College Students Break Social Media Sites with Mean Girls Day Celebration

“‘On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was’ ‘It’s October 3rd,’” says literally every girl’s Facebook status. Over the past few years, October 3rd has existed as a day to celebrate the 2004 hit movie Mean Girls due to its incredible quotability.  On this day, Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr become littered with statuses... MORE »

Article by jillboard
October 2, 2012

Amanda Bynes Syndrome Inspires Chaos Amongst College Kids

Thanks to Nickelodeon star Amanda Bynes’ current hott mess streak, Ramapo’s most easily influenced students have been dangerously swayed by her recent behavior. According to prestigious news sources like In Touch magazine and The National Inquirer, Ms. Bynes has been arrested for multiple DUI’s and hit & runs in the past year. There have also... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
October 1, 2012

Ramapo College App Finally Updated With Useful Features

MAHWAH, NJ – In response to criticism over the lackluster Ramapo Mobile app, the College has submitted version 1.0.7 to the App Store today for approval. Frustrated by the constant stream of angry emails, tweets, and loud screaming at various department heads, school officials took into account every suggestion and turned the app into a... MORE »