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Study: Collegiate Sports Lead to School Spirit; College Officials Outraged
MAHWAH, NJ: A disturbing new study done at Ramapo College of New Jersey seems to link participation and/or support of campus athletic teams to a dramatic increase in school spirit. According to Ramapo census takers, who conducted the survey by repeatedly sending out duplicates of the same email until students got tired of sending it... MORE »
Week in Review: The apple doesn’t fall far from the News!
Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan Headlines. Office of College Advising tells students to hold off on grad school In the same way that somewhere, a well-meaning high schooler is telling her ugly best friend to hold off on that love confession she’s been planning for a hot guy that has never... MORE »
Ramapo Memes Die Harder Than Bruce Willis
Mahwah, NJ – A surge of Ramapo College memes exploded on Facebook two weeks ago, immediately earning the Facebook page over 1,000 fans. This was a crucial moment in Ramapo history, as it was the most student participation the college has ever seen. However, in true Ramapo tradition, all forms of fun shall eventually be excommunicated;... MORE »
Ohio State President Makes Racist Joke in Front of Thousands, Blames Autocorrect
Ohio State University president Gordon Gee made a highly offensive comment in front of a large audience in Columbus last Wednesday. During a speech in which he told his audience about the problems he faced trying to coordinate the school’s 18 different divisions, he compared the confusion and lack of organization to that of Polish... MORE »
A Finals Dream
Imagine you did not party the weekend before finals week. Imagine you did not drink it up to every time your professor made you fall asleep. Imagine for just a few moments that you are a good student. You are fully prepared for the two hours that are cumulative of a whole semester’s worth of... MORE »
Herman Cain Looks To Teletubbies For Inspiration On Next Campaign Speech
After a series of sexual misconduct-related public relations disasters, 2012 Republican presidential nominee Herman Cain officially suspended his campaign last week. His farewell speech included an inspiring quote: “Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It’s never easy when there is so much on the line. But you and I can make a... MORE »
Herman Cain talks to Clarence Thomas’ Lawyer: Seeks Support
In the wake of the new allegations about harassment allegations, GOP Presidential hopeful Herman Cain is seeking assistance from a familiar ally. This isn’t the first allegation on Herman Cain’s record. An unnamed source believed to be from Pizza Queen in Providence Rhode Island has commented saying that “”¦godfather pizza was harassing [Pizza Queen] with... MORE »