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Article by Rud
August 29, 2011

Syracuse Adds New Majors; ‘Greekonomics,’ ‘Talking to Old People’ Programs Growing Rapidly

It was announced by University officials on Friday that Syracuse would be adding four new majors and a minor to their curriculum. The new majors are “Greekonomics, Waiting For the Bus to South, Talking to Old People and one major simply called “Snow.” The minor is a concentration within the Talking to Old People major... MORE »

Article by Piliour
March 16, 2011

Business Capping Course Eliminated

Due to an unprecedented number of complaints, the capping course has been removed from the requirements for business majors. Surveys indicate that 94% of business majors felt that the capping course was “too much work.” The course, in which students analyze a company and then write a paper about their findings, was deemed “far too... MORE »

Article by Danny Fersh
February 3, 2011

Sources: Freshman engineering major is gonna get some this weekend

According to multiple reports, freshman engineering major Bobby Stevens will spend a large portion of the upcoming weekend smashing poonani. Sources close to the freshman say that he fully expects his recent dry spell to come to a crashing halt as he gets laid “daily, nightly and ever so rightly.” Although it’s unknown at this... MORE »

Article by Piliour
January 17, 2011

New Horoscope Re-Aligns Student’s Future

Everything you know about astrology is bullshit. This has always been the case, but Thursday reiterated the statement when it was reported that everything you know about astrology is actually bullshit. According to astronomers, the Jets to the astrologers’ Sharks, because of the earth’s rotation, there are actually 13 signs of the Zodiac, meaning that... MORE »