cannot express the depth of our disappointment. We’re hurt, things are
upside down, we’re trying to work past this,” the headline on the
Los Angeles Baker’s Society web page read this past Tuesday.

This “disappointment” and “hurt” refers, as many know, to a
viral email that recently caused widespread internet upset. Written by a
USC fraternity member detailing misogynist views (with some racism
tacked on at the end, for good measure), one of the recurring terms he
used in reference to women’s ladytreasures was the word “pie.”

“To hear the name of these noble creations tarnished in such a
way… I just feel like all the strides society has made to obliterate
derogatory attitudes didn’t even happen,” says the Baker’s Society
president. “We’re always sort of aware of these connotations going
unsaid, but to hear them articulated is extremely hurtful.” He paused,
tearing up. “They’re such a beautiful, dignified dessert.”

One of the attempts to diffuse outrage toward the story was a claim
that the email was “satire,” after also trying convince readers it was
written by someone at a different school. The president of the Society,
however, is quick to point out that it doesn’t make what was written
less disgusting. “Whether it was sincere, I could tell it was trying to
be funny, but the jokes rely on finding treating women as an ‘it’
hilarious. In addition to the terrible treatment given to our beloved pastry.”

While it’s clear that pies and those who stand for them are among
the principal victims in this case, some worry the words of one person
and the attitude of a few are marring the image of USC, the Greek
system, and the national Kappa Sigma fraternity unfairly.

“Everyone I
know loves and respects pies very much,” an anonymous USC Greek attests.
“This doesn’t represent a common treatment of those, or any other
desserts, at all. Whenever I talk about pie, I think of the women in my life – my mother and sisters all make a fantastic blueberry.”

“It is unfortunate that people who don’t feel this way are being
made to look bad, but I think the larger organizations being embarrassed
by this means they’ll work harder to correct it, and this attitude
won’t be tolerated. Just… oh, god, why did he have to drag pie into
this?!” The Baker’s president fully breaks down into sobs. “Stop writing
that I’m crying! Don’t include this part!!”

Once he collected himself, pacified by promises that his weeping
wouldn’t be made public, the president took a deep breath and shrugged.
“There will always be people who feel this way, and it deeply depresses
me. I just hope I don’t have to hear any more of what they have to say.
Are pies not people, too?”

And then, “oh… well, I guess not.”